A wife once came to George Crane’s office seeking not just to end her marriage, but hurt her husband in the process. Dr. Crane suggested an ingenious plan: “Go home and act as if you really love your husband. Tell him how much he means to you. Praise him for every decent trait. Go out of your way to be as kind, considerate, and generous as possible. Spare no efforts to please him. Make him believe you love him. After you’ve convinced him of your undying love and that you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb. Tell him that you’re getting a divorce. That will really hurt him.” She left to carry out the plan enthusiastically. For two months she showed love, kindness, listening, giving, reinforcing, and sharing. When she didnt return, Crane called. “Are you ready now to go through with the divorce?” “Divorce?” she exclaimed. “Never! I discovered I really do love him.” Her actions had changed her feelings. Motion resulted in emotion. The ability to love is established not so much by fervent promises but by often repeated deeds. Love is one of the most confused of virtues, meaning one thing to some, and another thing to others. Many associate love with emotions; they define love by how they feel about people. But emotions are given to change. We are likely to believe we no longer love a person when the way we feel about them changes. But the truth is, love is not a feeling. It is a consistent set of actions. We can demonstrate love irrespective of how feel, and as the Crane experiment proved, our actions eventually influence our feelings. Today, and in this season, remember that you can love irrespective of how you feel. Radiate the love of Christ. The world will be a better place, because you did.
Posted on: Tue, 16 Dec 2014 09:02:24 +0000
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