A year ago when Yssa passed, I could never bring myself to say anything during her eulogy. I never got the chance to say anything knowing that I the closest to her... i would like to take this opportunity to tell everyone how lucky I am that in the 16 years of her life, I was there from the time that she got out of the hospital... We shared our dreams and almost have the same likes. We practically go everywhere together and planned on keeping it that way even to the time that she goes to Manila to take up Medicine. She always said, "Tita upod guid ta ya ha. Inde mo guid ko pag bayaan ha. Biski mamana ka pa dapat upod man ta gyapon." I found it funny before because it seems as if my mini me will never let me go. To the point that she was praying to St. Therese that I will get denied for my Canada Visa application. I think even then God listens to her because she got her wish. We used to plan trips to wherever someday when she becomes a doctor and I a lawyer. She even said that when she becomes a doctor, she can boss me around and I told her "Try mo lang, kay dira mo plang makita ang nurse magbutong sa imo hair." We ended up laughing the whole night. The last time we talked we were planning her debut. She planned to ask Mommy Pista to not throw a party for her but instead, she will pocket the money and ask her closest friends to go to Boracay and spend a few days there and of course with this line "Tita, ikaw chaperone ha. Kilanlan ara ka guid para magsugot si Mommy Pista and upod kita celebrate" lol! Forever together ang drama namon. Every week I looked forward to Saturdays cuz she will go home and she will look for me and we would chat for hours about her latest blunders and what happened in school. Honestly I miss those times. i miss hearing "Si Tita Chem ara?" I always anticipated the knock on my door and her calling me out saying "Tita bugtaw ka na?" syempre tulog pa ko and she would say "Hubog ka naman gab-i ay?" and I especially miss her pulling my hair and telling me "Maldita ka gd bala Tita mo, hay naku" or "Tita ginpati ko guid tudlo mo sakon pano magminaldita kung ginaunahan ka mo" or "Tita ano bayuon ko? ga match man ni ang akon shoes sa outfit? ano e bag ko?" I never thought it was her that would leave me... I pray so hard to God that I can finally let her go and accept that she is gone and I would never hear her voice. I pray to God during her anniversary to open my heart so that I can finally tell myself that I can move on. She is there, she will never leave me as I will never leave her. i asked her forgiveness when I went to see her that I am not able to visit her most of the time because it just hurts so bad. There are times that I look for her at home and wait til I can hear her voice. Just one more hug that is all I ask...
Posted on: Mon, 15 Jul 2013 06:35:32 +0000
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