A young Buddhist was travelling home one day, when he came to a wide river. The water raged violently, which made swimming the across impossible. The young Buddhist considered the obstacle for some time before he decided to turn back, when suddenly he noticed a great teacher on the other side of the river. The young Buddhist called out, ‘Wise one! Can you tell me how to get to the other side of the river?’ The teacher thought about the question for a moment, glanced up and down the river, and yelled back, ‘My son, you are on the other side.’ This story can be interpreted in many different ways, but one of the most obvious conclusions that come to mind is the idea of perspective. In this case, perspective is the ability (or lack thereof) to see something from someone else’s point of view. At first glance, the wise older monk does seem like a bit of a smart ass, despite the apparent humour of his response. But the issue here is about two people that perceive the same situation differently. Of course, we all know what the young Buddhist meant by his question, but Zen parables are not supposed to be analyzed – they are intended only to alter the way we would normally think about certain situations. With that in mind, we discover two lessons. First, the young Buddhist did not consider what his situation might look like to the other and wiser monk. We can benefit from imagining the same thing when we deal with other people. How do we look to them? Do we seem interested or bored? Do we seem sympathetic or condescending? Are we paying any attention to what is actually happening to us and around us? Are we listening? Are we present? Are we in the now? Where’s our focus? Second, the young Buddhist did not think about how the old monk might understand him. We can learn from imagining this too when we deal with other people. How will they interpret what we have to say? Are we trying to make ourselves understood, or merely expecting them to understand us? Are we using our own frame of reference to communicate, or one more suitable to them? If we reflect on this parable and can manage to remember it in our communications with others, we’ll come to understand ourselves and others on a deeper level.
Posted on: Fri, 20 Sep 2013 19:12:25 +0000