ALICE IN WONDERLAND -- Before I start, Id like you all to tell me if you like this movie. Wow. Thats a lot of hands. Um, any diehard fans of the movie? Oh. Uh, ok. Th-thisll be VERY hard to say this but......... I dont like it. Ill be right back, Im going to go get my bulletproof vest. ....... Ok, Im back. Get your guns ready. See, it kinda doesnt make sense. Its a Tim Burton film, and those films do great at the box office. This ones no exception, but it doesnt feel like Alice in Wonderland is Burton-worthy. I mean, theres three things a Burton film has that normally get great reviews. 1. Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. 2. An extremely creepy feel. 3. Awesome looking special effects. Alice in Wonderland has all that, but the problem with it is the writing. In it, Alice enters Wonderland for the first time, but everyone recognizes her. What? Anyway, Alice is told that she is the one to defend Wonderland from the Red Queen and the Jabberwocky. How did Alice become Joan of Arc and why does she have to fight this hideous beast and the Jabberwocky? Because Burtons version of the Bible said so. That seems strange, even on Burton levels. Another nitpick is the name of Wonderland. No, in Wonderland, everyone calls it Underland. What? Burton either read the books or is just stupid, and Im fairly sure that Lewis Carroll called it Wonderland. Now you know which one. But the acting is amazing from everyone, except Mia Wasikowska, who plays Alice. Seriously, Jim Belushi in Underdog had more emotion than her! Oh, yeah, I went there! I was surprised to see many legendary actors were in this, and they didnt get much screen time. Michael Gough, or Alfred in Batman, made his final film appearance before his death and got THREE lines as the Dodo. Wasted talent. And Sir Christopher Lee, who is a Burton mainstay, played the Jabberwocky, who received such Oscar worthy lines, such as: (Dragon roar), (Dragon roar), (Dragon roar), (Dragon roar), and the greatest line ever: (Dragon roar). No wonder, oh, I mean, UNDER he retired soon after this. And, yeah, Johnny Depp was ok in this. But, that doesnt excuse it for being boring, annoying and stupid. I didnt want to step on anyones toes, but I didnt just do that. I stepped on their whole friggin leg. Out of 5 stars, this movies definitely a 2.5. If you want to watch it, go right ahead. Im not stopping you. Also, anyone that wants to do a review with me, contact me in messages and we can arrange something. So, thanks for reading. Im Jacob and Ill see ya soon.
Posted on: Sat, 19 Apr 2014 12:20:33 +0000
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