ALL YOU NEED IS......... Change the fabric of your own soul and your own visions, and you change all.~Rachel Lindsay ;)~ Needs...Its just too funny how they seem to change in my life over the years. I mean, Ive certainly had different concepts of what I thought were my needs, only to find out later that I not only didnt really need them, but they were actually more like wants in the first place. You and I both know that they are two completely opposite things right? Lately I am finding out that I dont have a clue when it comes to what I need anymore...but someone else does...and HE has surprised me more and more as HE provides..... With all the time that I have spent looking, and then the subsequent times these last few years I have spent seeing what my life has evolved in to, I am always amazed at how many times the things I dreamed about in my heart have suddenly just appeared in front of me. Whether it has been those answers that come from my favorite quotes like the one above, or the gentle seduction of the LOVE SONG I hear from my soul when it discovers the fact that my needs seem to be always taken care of...it all just seems to continue to materialize in front of me day after day... It doesnt take much if I take the time to look at my life now, today, and remember what it was like back then, or for that matter even way back when to see the change. I was, am, and always have been a dreamer. Theres no doubt that some of my dreams were unrealistic, and some where just down right silly, but isnt that the point of a dream in the first place? The possibility? The challenge that you present to yourself? My problem before all of this was more of the fact that I beat myself down for not trying, or failing to act upon the thoughts I had for something different in my life....I was afraid...and that fear paralyzed me internally for many, many, years... So I drank, I got high, I partied thinking it would make the difference for me...And oh my did it ever...It couldnt have been more different day to day than the night is to the day. Which by the way, is what I saw a lot of bad in no matter what time it was...Instead of making a reality for myself by trying to escape it, I actually ended up creating an alternate reality I wanted nothing to do with and then tried desperately to escape from...I gave...it took....I cried...it laughed...I wanted to love...it brought out the hate...and my life reflected all of it... But you know eventually what I really needed did become what I really wanted, once I opened my eyes enough to see it that is...I dont know the hows, whats and the wheres of it all today, anymore than I did yesterday, all I am able to discern about all of it is that it just doesnt matter anymore what I think I need...or want...What really matter is just a simple thing...I am the sum of all those choices, both good and bad, and in the learning that has come from the consequences, I have also learned, it can be different, it will be different, if I work for it and throw my heart into what I can finally see....Which is a life again...not an existence... Tonight I say screw it...and I find myself looking at what I do have, instead of what I dont, I look at what I can change, not what I cant, and I even have some needs and wants that I try not to let takeover...which is a leap of faith to begin with. I believe because I can...with better dreams than before...because they actually involve me in it. A fare cry from when they didnt and I was blaming the world around me for my problems, it owes me nothing... But I owe it everything...and I will continue repaying it back as long as HE continues to provide for my needs and help my find away for those wants... Thanks for reading, Lance... We continue because....we can youtu.be/3aubjDJc07E
Posted on: Sat, 25 Oct 2014 10:51:26 +0000
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