“AM JUST SAYING WITH MUTINTA MUSOKOTWANE-CHIKOPELA ” IN MEMORY OF FOSTER CHIKOPELA EARLIER on this year, I wrote an article that was titled “New Year, New You!” Unfortunately this article didn’t see the light of day as the year sort of moved on without it. But I go back to it now because its half year and we all ought to take stock of what we have done thus far. If you have met your goals then good on you but if you haven’t, you still have plenty of time to rectify. As for me the New Year brought in a new ME with new objectives, targets, goals and dreams. I started 2014 by taking stock of 2013. I am usually very specific about what I want to achieve be it in a job, in school or in a specific time period. 2013 was no different. I went in there with specific goals, objectives and targets. Obviously, not everything went according to plan because after all, God’s timing is the best. Right? 2014 has so far been an amazing year with one black dot on my white cloud. My mother in law, my mother, my friend, Yanakulu Cheleka passed away on 22nd May 2014. When my husband called to say mum had passed, I felt the life slowly seeping out of me. I knew I needed to get out of the office as fast as I possibly could because I didn’t want to break down in front of my work colleagues. Once I jumped into the taxi however, the flood gates opened. The poor taxi man didn’t know whether to pull over and hug me or just to hold my hand all the way to Yanakulu. I knew I needed to be strong for my husband and my siblings in law but my heart was literally breaking at the thought of not hearing her say “iye mwe”. My kids and I made it a point to visit Yanakulu every other weekend and knowing that this outing had now come to an end was devastating. In order to be strong for my husband, children and in-laws, I knew I needed to have a coping mechanism and I needed one fast! I chose to cope by celebrating Yanakulu Cheleka’s life instead of mourning her death. This is a woman who had such a strong and positive influence on my life and marriage. Yanakulu had lived a full life having birthed 11 children. She was survived by 9 children, 23 grandchildren and 10 great grandchildren. We were all blessed to have had her in our lives for as long as we did. As a daughter in law, I am forever grateful to have had a mother in-law who became a friend. I am grateful that we loved each other so much that I could drop the “in-law” and from the bottom of my heart and in every sense of the word be able to call her mother. I am grateful for all the times that my husband and I took the kids to Mbala and we spent time as a family, breaking bread and telling stories of how she met Yasikulu Cheleka and their lives as a young married couple. I am grateful for the inspiration I got from knowing that the two had been married since 1955 until Yasikulu’s passing in 2012. I am grateful for the influence she had on her son – my husband. They had a close relationship and her influence on the man he has become is mind blowing. She taught him to do the right thing whether or not someone is watching. He tells me stories of when she would tell him to enjoy himself as he went out partying but to remember that as much as she was not around to watch him, he was around to watch himself and only he would suffer the consequences of his choices. What are you grateful for? Think about it a minute! My “grateful” list is long but I will only touch on the most important. I know that I am grateful for the man I married – the love of my life. He may not be perfect but he certainly is perfect for me. I am grateful that he truly believes in me and pushes me to take up challenging opportunities and to be the best that I can possibly be. I am even grateful for all the girls that wish they could have him because they constantly remind me what a gem I have. I am grateful for my children. Hearing their voices and feet pitter pattering in the house as I wake up is the most amazing feeling in the world. I am grateful for my mother. My BFF. If you don’t have a good relationship with your mother, I implore you to rectify that. No one looks out for you more than your mother. She is the one person who wants the best for you because that is what completes her circle. I am grateful for my siblings. Though we may fuss and fight sometimes, we always come round and have each other’s back. I remember growing up and my brothers beating up people who they thought had offended me. They beat up first and asked questions after. My sisters will drop what they are doing to watch my kids, sometimes for weeks. They are always there when I need time out and when my husband and I need honeymoon time. I am grateful for my siblings in law. They are the best one can ever ask for. They have my back. I know I can always count on them, regardless. While most people think in-laws are monsters, my set of in-laws is God sent. Many a time we tend to forget to be grateful to God. I challenge you today to list all that you are grateful for. Go on! Do it! Even though “I’m just saying”. God bless you. Interact with me on mutintamusokotwane@outlook or face book - Mutinta Musokotwane-Chikopela.
Posted on: Wed, 11 Jun 2014 09:23:00 +0000
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