................ AN IDEAL ROMANTIC Polygamous HOME ...........by Abu Hindiah.......... Alhamdulilah, today is another saturday, a day where love is in the air, a day where many love birds are united or celebrated. When Allaah s.w.t created prophet adam alayhi salam, he didnt give him a car, phone, laptop or video game, instead he gave him a wife as his companion and partner in marriage. SubhanAllaah, their love was the first love story in the history of mankind, their love started from the gardens of paradise, wow, one can only imagine how sweet and scintillating it was with all the beauty, glamourz, glitz and luxury around them. Today, Allah has permitted polygyny if the man is capable of being just between them. However, many of us have misunderstood dis concept, men abuse the concept while women detest the concept bcos they think it doesnt favour them but if only they know the rahma in it, they would wish to end up in polygamous homes. First, it all starts with the right person and the right intention. The man has to be an upright believer whose aqeedah is upon the Quran and sunnah and the methodology of the pious predecessors. Not just any man who claims to be a muslim yet u cant even distinguish his appearance from that of an unbelievers, who doesnt even look like a muslim, who openly commits sin in the things that are apparent, how then can you entrust your daughter to such a person? So the success or failure of any polygamous setting starts with the man who is the main subject of the matter. The man needs to have a reasonable knowledge of the deen, fiqh of marriage, rights of both spouses in marriage and polygamy before delving into it. A man doesnt just jump into marriage on a platter of absolute ignorance. The prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam married over 10 wives yet he managed them well until his final breath, he didnt have a heart attack and he never made any of them shed tears for even a second. SubhanAlllah. How romantic and perfect the prophet was. Some men of today makes their only wife cry almost everyday and they end up giving themselves heart attack and start taking BP pills ..... Wheneva u spend the night with any of them, hold her tight, dont just turn ur back on her in the bed as if you dont know her, end ur night conversations with a kiss before sleeping, wake her for tahajud with a kiss too. As a man, dont over praise any of your wifes meal over others, it gives room for jealousy and envy. You will definitely love one more than the others but try to conceal it as much as possible. Attimes go on a walk with one of your wives and do the same to others subsequently. If you have a car, go out with all your wives simultaneously, open the door for all of them to enter the car, when you reach your destination, open the door for each and everyone of them again to come out of the car, thats part of being romantic. Attimes during weekends, race with all your wives, compete in a race with all of them and lets see who comes first and who comes last. It will increase the love between them. If you have a mini gymnasium in your house, train them and teach them how to fight incase of jihad and who knows, armed robbers may attack one day, so the five of you may deal with the armed robbers, lol. At times if need be, then there should be a general family meeting in the central living room or elsewhere if they all agree to that venue. Allow all your wives to err their views and precide over them. You are the leader of the house, fear Allah and be just between them. Buy things for them equally, take them out equally, help them with chores equally, spend on them equally. Attimes when you travel away from home, you can even be having a group chat on your social network with your wives or you may chat with them separately so as to keep them company even when you are not at home. Send a good morning text mssg to all of them and do the same thing at night. Plait their hairs for them, so that ur wives wont have to be going to the saloon where ther is a risk of a nonmahram suddenly entering the saloon and it will also eliminate hairstyle expenses. One day, get a razor blade, put her legs on ur laps and Cut their finger naills for them, after bathing, dress them up with their jilbab and tie their nikab for them, learn how to tie nikab, women love it when their husband do all these little things, am talking from experience, soq. Take them shopping in a female boutique, follow them to the market attimes or go to the market yourself and buy things while you take it home and they prepare it. Do house chores with them, pound yam with your wives, carry baby on your back while your wife is sleeping or while she is busy adorning herself before the mirror. Very important, teach them islam, you are their number one teacher, groom them with the knowledge of the shariah, who knows, in the process: your first wife may become a hafiza, the second one may become a scholar of fiqh, the third one may become a scholar in hadith, the 4th wife may be an authority in adab related issues or knowledge of inheritance. Organize a class for them in ur home every evening after isha, a sisters circle where u discuss issues relating to the deen, give them topics to present individually and have an islamic library in your home filled with books. If you do all these, they wil hardly have grudges among themselves cos dey do many things in common so they cant avoid talking to eachother. Order them to teach eachother. E.g the one who has memorized the Quran shoulld teach others the Quran, the one who is good in hadith shud teach others the science of ahadith and so on. This wil increase the love between them. That wonderful moment Every night, when each of them observes tahajud in her apartment, ur house will become an islamic home. Your whole house will be booming with zikr. Attimes, let them walk to the masjid togeda and also come back home together, other women will admire them. If possible, buy cars for each and every one of them, how classic!!!!!!!! Teach them how to drive, perhaps one of them should be acquainted with the field of medicine so that she would help with the issue of child delivery, so that ur wives wont have to be going to the hospitals where men attends to ur wifes child delivery .................................................................. As for the sisters, there is much more rest and relaxation in polygyny than monogamy, your co-wives are always there to help you with the chores, If you give birth, others are there to help you carry and pet the baby, your co wives are there to teach you Quran, they share ideas and problems with you, whenever your husband travels you wont feel lonely at home cos ur co-wives are around, whenever ur husband travels: you all should watch the islamic programs on TV together, cook together, clean the house togeda, buy hijab for eachother, buy creams and cosmetics as gifts for eachother, eat together, race among yourselves togeda, learn islam togeda, go to the market togeda, play baloon games and hide and seek together, plait hairs for eachother, gist together around the house, If any arguement arises between 2 of you, the other 2 should quickly settle it, dont see yourselves based on who came into the family first, see your selves as sisters. Dont see yourselves as rivals, realize that you all are on (the same side). Wear the same jilbab colours everyday, maybe all blue or all black or all brown. Infact have a jilbab timetable if you wish. It will increase the love and unity. Cut eachothers nail, teach eachother how to prepare certain meals. Keep company with eachothers kids, take eachothers kids to school, attend sisters program together, defend eachother in public, when you hear one thing about ur co-wife, make excuses for her and enquire from her before making conclusions, do hifz together and compete among yourselves in memorizing the Quran, when its time for salat, remind eachother, wash your clothes together, take eachother as best friends. Write I love you for the sake of Allah on a note and put it in your co-wives room or put it under her pillow. Compose poems together. All these little things will spice up your house with love. Anytime your husband returns from a journey, rush to welcome him, you all shud present to him the gifts each of you have bought for him, he will be happy with all of you. Teach yourselves eachothers language. If any of u is reducing in eeman, you all should admonish her immediately before it gets worse. Form the habit of pinching, winking, smiling, tickling eachother around the house. Share duties among yourselves and assist eachother with errands attimes. Spare ur husband of troubles attimes, so that he doesnt have a heart attack. If your husband is not happy with anyone of you, try to solve it privately but if its getting out of hand, quickly consult your co-wives about it so that they will plead on your behalf. Discuss good things about your husband to eachother, and you should all pray for eachother and your husband in salat. If you follow all these steps, u wil have more freedom and leisure than d one you had in your fathers house. Anytime ur husband is spending d night with any of ur co-wife, its an opportunity for you to rest, sleep well, do ibadah at night and read islamic books and spend time with ur kids. Anytime jealousy is growing in ur heart against ur co-wife, quickly seek refuge in Alllah against the evil of shaitan and its promptings. Such is an ideal polygynous home. Brothers and sisters, the shariah has solved the problem of the world even before it arises, if we work wth the rulings in the shariah, polygyny will be much more sweeter than monogamy. The reason for problems in polygyny are mainly three: if the husband is not an ideal muslim man upon the sunnah, if all the wives are not striving believers (one may be a muslimah, the other one is an unserious type, the other one is a swager woman, the last one is a woman wit bad character). finally, if the women or man is from a deviant aqeedah. The prophet ordered us to marry religious women not any how women else you will have an any how polygyny. Never stop saying I love you to eachother even at the age of 100. Allah said, “Bad statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and good statements are for good people (or good men for good women)” [al-Noor 24:26] This post is open for corrections and constructive criticisms. May Alllah put barka in our marriages, amin
Posted on: Sun, 07 Sep 2014 19:59:54 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015