AND FINALLY (FOR THE GOLFERS) Golf balls are like eggs - they’re white, they’re sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more. A pro shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there. It’s amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps. When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice it’s a lot easier to get up at 6.00am to play golf than at 10.00 to mow the yard or go to church? Golf is by far the ultimate love/hate relationship. Sometimes it seems as though your cup runneth and moveth over. It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery. On the other hand, you seldom get to ride around on a cart, drink beer and eat hot dogs while performing brain surgery. A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game. Water hazards are no walk in the park for fish, turtles, frogs or alligators either. Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up praying a lot. A good golf partner is one who’s always slightly worse than you. That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work. If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life. If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a 6 or a 7, he probably shot an 8. You probably wouldn’t look good in a green jacket anyway! A sweatshirt will do just fine. Golf appeals to the child in all of us. This is proven by our frequent inability to count past the number 5. It’s a simple matter to keep your ball on the fairway if you’re not choosy about which fairway. If profanity had any influence on the flight of a ball, most everyone would play better. The greatest sound in golf is the whoosh whoosh whoosh of your opponent’s club as he hurls it across the fairway. A recent survey shows that of all jobs, caddies live the longest. They get plenty of fresh air and exercise, and if there’s ever a medical emergency, a doctor is always nearby.
Posted on: Thu, 04 Jul 2013 10:47:41 +0000
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