ARE YOU A NAPPER? I DON’T MEAN TO GET PERSONAL - and I’d never ask you what you wear when you nap. (though you can tell us if you want to - I wear this adorable crushed top hat and fuzzy cowboy booties) I ask because of the obvious reasons; my fascination with the Great Joy of Napping People Everywhere. But also because I’ve been hired to collect some statistics on nappers for a survey being commissioned by Gluten Regulating Organazition Governing Grain Yields. (G.R.O.G.G.Y.) I myself enjoy dipping my toe into the surreal world of an early evening nap at times. There is always the slight danger though, that an early evening nap is really just denial. Denial that one has gotten old enough to begin going to bed just as Wheel of Fortune is starting. And I’ll admit that I have on occasion found that my short nap has escalated beyond short, whisking me into a 4 or 5 hour stretch of deep, restful sleep before it tosses me from my slumber wide awake at midnight. But those are the exceptions. In general, I am the Master of My Own Nap and I can keep it short if I wish to. Unless I have eaten an organic peanut butter and jelly sammitch on Organic sprouted wheat bread, like I did yesterday in my truck. But first, before we get into all those statistics, let’s review our early history with The Nap. Remember when you were a child and you absolutely could not stand to be told to take a nap? Why was that? Do you ever wish you could have each and every one of those opportunities back? When I was a young man and working in warehouses and factories, Levi Strauss was one, I would come into the vast building at 7 a.m. on a wintery morning and once that warm factory air hit me, the realization that I had to stay awake for 8 1/2 hours - including a delicious lunch - was almost overwhelming. I mean, my eyes were barely open, my head was like a stone on my neck, and my legs were like noodles fresh out of boiling water. There were miles and miles of boxes of Levis stacked on shelves and I spent many hours devising ways to crawl into them and root out my own little hollow for napping. But I never did better than to snore on the toilet for a few moments, mid-morning. What could we have possibly been thinking as toddlers when we bucked against the invitation for a “nap with mommy?” Sure, I know it was partly because we had so very recently come from a very, very loooooong nap somewhere up in the sky before being born, but I believe it was mostly that I feared missing out on something fun. And yet, that did not stop me from crawling into the bushes among deadly spiders and hiding there for an hour, giggling as my little brother looked all over the yard for me. I mean, couldn’t I just as well have been napping? While this post may seem all over the place, make no mistake podnas, it’s all zeroed right in on napping. Do ye or don’t ye? How does ye do it and why? Is there a method to yer nap madness? And most important, would you ever be interested in a Flash Nap? Now that so many of us own tiny digital devices that will allow almost instant communication with each other, I say forget all those silly Flash Dances and Mob Robberies and Sudden Appearance of Zombies at the Mall. Let’s Flash Nap! Want to? So this Saturday at 1:00 pm PST, let’s all stop whatever we’re doing and nap like crazy. If you’re driving, pull over or at least get into the slow lane. If you’re up on the house cleaning out the gutters, bring a pillow. If you’re having a late brunch, clear a spot on the table for your face. (I use a donut pillow for this) Well, that’s it, podnas. Sure am looking forward to taking a nap with ye. Some of ye I’ve wanted to nap with for practically ever. Dang it, I should have worked out the directions so we could virtually spoon. Well, that’ll be our next nap. ~ Michael Tomlinson Concerts, CDs, Downloads at michaeltomlinson
Posted on: Fri, 04 Apr 2014 16:27:50 +0000
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