About 2 years ago I had a good job, good family, good friends, and I felt good. I was sitting around one night reading and I found myself getting anxious and discontent and questioning everything I was doing. Everything was good so why was I so uneasy? I had the things I thought I had been working towards, but it didnt come with the feelings I expected. I wasnt at peace I would stay up night after night writing out schedules of how to manage my time and it was exhausting. After night 4 with no sleep it was time for a change. I hopped a plane to one of my favorite destinations for 10 days of complete reflection with no distraction (well, except for Ty). It was there I decided good would never be good enough I needed it to be great. I want to bounce out of bed in the morning and when I close my eyes I want to know if they never open again I lived a great life. The past two years Ive worked hard at finding peace and I found it within. I found that the reason I wasnt at peace was my wrong ideas, ideas of the perfect job, family, day, boss, and basically everything else. I lived a life in judgement of how everything and everyone should be and when it wasnt what I thought it should be I shared my disappointment with people who I knew would support my wrong minded thinking. Example: Crazy, but its true, Rosa can you believe Ashley called me stupid and selfish? My feelings are so hurt!. Why were my feelings hurt? I had an idea that Ashley should like me and not call me names so when she called me a name I became upset because my ideas and expectations were not met. Wow... I realized at this point that I am solely responsible for the way I feel. No one can make me sad, angry, disappoint me, nothing. I am the decision maker at every moment of my life. If someone calls me a name or does something to me and I react thats on me, if its not what I believe to be my truth there is no need for reaction or justification because I need not defend the truth. The practice of denying the wrong minded thinking and seeking only peace in EVERY situation has NOT been an easy one, but once you get that shift, what a difference. When Im working this new thinking I dont have the need to judge anyones words or actions I can be at peace and just be. Im happy to say that after 2 years of practice and really the last 8 months of daily practice and reflection what a difference I notice not only in myself , but in my son as well. I just wanted to put this out there because I see so many post about such angry stuff and get PM/txt of people who are really frustrated and the best piece of advice I can give you is that you hold all the power to change your life all by yourself. Its not about ignoring people, places, or things that make you crazy or blaming others for ANY of the things they did or how they made you feel. The change needs to be with YOU because you are the decision maker. That being said I have no expectations in writing this I just got a message and when I went to reply this is what came out. Life is to be enjoyed living, laughing with family, friends, and yourself. If your unhappy change it. Stop being an excuse and believing your lies. I hope YOU have a great day and do something for someone today (maybe in secret) random acts of kindness with NO expectations to make their day GREAT. Sometimes its as simple as a smile at a stranger, exchange of a joke, holding the door open, paying for the person behind you in line, or sending a family/friend flowers to say the universe appreciates you whatever it is, DO IT!
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 12:55:11 +0000
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