About #Mediation Mediation is best explained by example. In the following article, we imagine a dispute between two people, or a person and a business, but the concepts apply just as well to multi-party #issues. Imagine that you are at odds with someone. It may be your estranged spouse wanting more time with the children; a dissatisfied customer who is refusing to pay you; a neighbor whose tree overhangs your garden and drops leaves on your lawn; a family member who does not agree about how best to look after Grandma; or some kids in your complex who hang around and smoke all day in violation of the rules. In any event, there is a difference of opinion between you and another person about some matter. How are you best going to resolve this situation? Possibly, neither of you are “wrong” as such, but you each have a different #perspective on how to move forward. If your situation is like most, it would be best if the two of you could just “talk it out” and come to some understanding, arrangement, or agreement about how to proceed. Unfortunately, in life things don’t always work like that. You may have already tried to talk to the other person and failed; one or both of you maybe too angry to discuss things rationally; one or both of you may be nervous or scared about talking to the other person; you may be very emotional about the whole situation; you may prefer just to “put up with it” rather than get into an #argument or confrontational situation; or you may just not like each other and not want to have to deal with each other. But to make progress, you need to have a some kind of interaction. This is where a mediator can help. The #mediator is a completely #impartial (“#neutral”) person who probably does not know either of you, but who will act as a “go-between” to listen to both your versions of the situation and your hoped-for outcomes, and see if there is any #middleground – #opportunities for some kind of an arrangement, acceptable to both people, which will fully or in part help to resolve the situation. This is how a mediator functions, as an intermediary or go-between. You may have seen mediators portrayed on television or in the movies. Two people and their lawyers are shown on different sides of a table shouting at each other while an ignored mediator at the end of the table, hands in the air, interjects vainly with “People, People”. This makes for good and amusing TV but it is NOT at all how real mediation works. A good mediator, for a start, would never put people facing each other directly across a table. A mediator would never allow shouting or interruption. What’s more, if two people are that much at odds, the mediator would be talking to them in separate rooms. In fact, often there is no need for disputing people to be in the same room at all. The mediator’s role is to “#shuttle”, or go between them. Now, good mediators, with proper training and experience, will understand that the people in a dispute are both tense and nervous, usually focused only on their side of the story, and wanting to tell the mediator as soon as possible about all the events that led up to the current day, how poorly the other person acted, and what the #bestsolution would be for them. A good mediator will listen to each person to allow them to have their say, and will then focus on the facts that are actually relevant, supported if possible with evidence (pictures, emails, invoices) so that the important information is clearly identified. There are several characteristics of good mediation that make it #effective. The first is that the mediator at no time makes any decisions, or rulings. The mediator, having listed to one side and then the other, may sometimes offer individual suggestions or ideas as to how a #solution might be developed, but in the end, the two people themselves have to agree on the final outcome. No one else tells them what to do. (This by the way, is what makes mediation so very different from a #courtroom, where a judge decides the case, or arbitration, where the arbitrator makes the decision). Another characteristic of mediation is that everything said to the mediator is completely confidential. If the mediator is talking to one person individually, whatever is said is confidential even from the other person. Sometimes, there is information that one person does not want the other person, or anyone else, to know. However, it might help to share that information with the mediator confidentially, so that the mediator understands the person’s perspective on the situation. #Mediation is a way to keep private information private, and is one reason why mediation is in fact a more preferable approach to some cases. (Source: Mediation Mobile App) Contact CHOOSE2TALK MEDIATION AGENCY @313-454-1699 or email choose2talk@gmail. Our mediation screening is FREE, simple, confidential and helps determine if your case is appropriate for mediation. Our intake process includes the opportunity to share your side of this story and a FREE 1/2 hour conflict assessment and counsult. Our low fees are split between both parties and we offer reduced fee services for low income parties. Well match any competitors rates. #TryMediation today! One small step could lead to Big results.
Posted on: Tue, 30 Sep 2014 13:24:45 +0000
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