Abuse By Proxy: An abuser will recruit friends, neighbors, family members, the police, the media…anyone he can find to threaten you, harass you and manipulate you into doing what they want. Abuse by proxy is often done by an abuser when the victim is getting stronger. The abuser begins to notice that he is losing control over the victim. Abuse by proxy is when the abuser uses people and authority figures to his advantage in order to obtain more control over you by further abuse. This kind of abuse is often played out in divorce court. A spouse will hire an adversarial attorney to try and punish you. He/she will lie under oath to try and get a judge to rule against you in hopes that you will suffer legal and social sanctions. Of course, before you even went to court they had turned your friends and family against you with lies and manipulations. With a spouse like this, you are lucky to be going through a divorce. Some offenders – mainly in patriarchal and misogynist societies – co-opt their children into aiding and abetting their abusive conduct. The couple’s children are used as bargaining chips or leverage. They are instructed and encouraged by the abuser to shun the victim, criticize and disagree with her, withhold their love or affection, and inflict on her various forms of ambient abuse. “Even the victim’s (children) are amenable to the considerable charm, persuasiveness, and manipulativeness of the abuser and to his impressive thespian skills. The abuser offers a plausible rendition of the events and interprets them to his favor. The victims are often on the verge of a nervous breakdown: harassed, unkempt, irritable, impatient, abrasive, and hysterical.
Posted on: Sat, 27 Jul 2013 21:09:38 +0000
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