Action Items for the Muttaqun: Single muslims should have intentions to marry as soon as Islamically permissible and a suitable candidate for marriage is available. For a female, it is permissible to marry at any time near puberty. For a man, he is ordered to marry after puberty once he has established a means to support a family. It is recommended (in order to avoid being jailed) to not marry until old enough according to the laws in the land they live, but it is Islamically permissible before that. In the U.S., the typical legally permissible age is 14 or 15 with a parents permission, but it will vary depending on where you live, so check with the local authorities first. Neither should refuse marriage to a suitable muslim marriage candidate. A woman is permitted (if she so chooses) to marry a poor man of good character, but she must not marry a non-Muslim. A muslim man may only marry a muslim or non-polytheist christian or jew who is chaste. A mahr/dowry (gift from the man to the new wife) should be agreed upon before the actual marriage. The dowry can be anything halal that they agree upon and it is obligatory that she is given a dowry. It is recommended that the dowry is something appropriate to his income level and ability to give. Although jewelry is permissible to be given as the dowr or part of the dowr, it should not be an imitation of christian traditions, such as a diamond ring worn on the left third finger and given as part of the marriage ceremony. A couple may stipulate in the marriage contract that he will not take on an additional wife, only under the agreement that if he does this, they will get divorced. As a muslimah, this is not necessarily to your benefit to make such a stipulation. For instance, you could become paralyzed from the waist down, and if your husband were to want a second wife, he would have to divorce you, but Allah swt in His Infinite Wisdom, has made provisions that would allow you to remain secure and his wants still be fulfilled. Not that he must find another wife under such a circumstance, but it is his right, and you may love him so much that you want him to take on another wife, but at the same time you very likely may not want a divorce. This is only one such example. Recognize that you cannot fortell the future and trust Allahs provisions for up to four wives as a blessing for you and not a bad thing. No-one is saying that the man should have up to four wives, but that under certain conditions, there is a great wisdom and benefit in this arrangement. Allahu Alam. What is agreed upon in the marriage contract, on any halal matter, stands - unless the two come to a mutual agreement to change this stipulation, so long as there is nothing haram they agree to do, etc. So, she can waive that right - upon mutual agreement only - keeping in mind that the original marriage contract takes precedence over arguements or disputes later in the marriage. A man who has four wives cannot divorce one wife and marry another woman while the divorced wife is still in her iddah (waiting period) , UNLESS the divorce was irrevocable, i.e. it was her third divorce. A marriage should be witnessed by at least two men, or four women, or one man and two women. Give your spouse his/her rights. If your rights are not being given to you, ASK ALLAH for these rights. The Prophet (sallallahu aleihi wa sallam) said, Soon others will be preferred to you, and there will be things which you will not like. The companions of the Prophet asked, O Allahs Apostle! What do you order us to do (in this case)? He said, (I order you) to give the rights that are on you and to ask your rights from Allah. [Sahih Al-Bukhari 4.800, Narrated Ibn Masud] The rights of a husband include: Halal marital relations to the degree that they are able That the wife will guard in the husbands absence what Allah has ordered her to guard (i.e. her chastity, his property, secrets in the bed between the two) That she would not fast while in his presence, without his permission. If it is an obligatory fast, he still has rights to deny it if he has a valid reason, such as believing that the fast would be a severe risk to her health, and he must allow the obligatory fast of Ramadan if there is no valid reason to forbid it. As to when she is to make up the Ramadan fast days that she did not make due to her menstrual, he must cooperate with her desires to make it up promptly, but he still can deny that the fast be done at certain times as he decides what he believes is best for her and for the marriage overall. For non-obligated fasts, he should encourage the piety of fasting in general, but he is not obligated to permit each request to fast if they will be in each others presence during the fast. To move the wife, have her travel with him, or to have up to four wives unless previously stipulated before marriage That she will not spend his money against his halal orders That she will not permit anyone to enter his house except with his permission If seeing ill behavior from the wife, he has the right to first admonish her, then after that he may refuse to share the bed, then he may beat her lightly (in a way that does not leave marks or damage the body, as this is for a reminder to the call of Islam, not a punishment to inflict any physical harm). If at any time, she returns to obedience to Allah, swt, he should stop any means of annoyance upon her. The rights of a wife include: To have a muslim husband whose general aqeedah (beliefs/creed) and minhaj (methodology) is Quran and Sunnah Halal marital relations to the degree that they are able To refuse to move, travel, or be a co-wife if previously stipulated before marriage To be clothed and fed as well as the husband, from his means. Also that her dependent children are so clothed and fed by her new husband where the provisions of the biological father fall short (such as a deceased or deadbeat biological father), unless stipulated otherwise prior to marriage. But then of course they would have to stipulate how they intend to provide for the kids and what they will do if the situation changes (such as the biological father dies). The biological father is obligated first and foremost to provide for them within his means, but the new husband is also responsible for the protection and maintenance of those within his care. The husband is responsible for maintaining the wife. If the wife has children from a previous marriage, providing for her children is a need she has. The new husbands job includes maintaining this aspect of the wifes needs. Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. ... (Quran 4:34) The best of what you consume is that which you have earned. And your children are part of what you have earned. [al-Tirmidhi and al-Nasai. Al-Albani has graded it sahih. Al-Albani, Sahih al-Jami, vol. 1, p. 326.] The new husband is not responsible for the latest nintendo game or everything any child feels he wants. But just like everything under his roof, there comes a sense of responsibility with seeing that it is adequately cared for. If he buys an item as small as a pencil, he is not allowed to abuse it or be negligent and destructive; instead, he must be responsible with everything Allah swt has put in his care. He should not pay the price of a house for a toy, buy a piece of furniture and then let children vandalize it, or allow haram things in the house. Why? Because it is his responsibility to (properly) maintain everything he has, including his body, because it is a sin not to take care of it. When we see that he is responsible for taking care of the physical things like furniture and maintenance of the actual house, we must stop to realize that the rights of a child are much greater than this mans right to a new carpet! The husband is responsible for seeing that everything under his roof is adequately cared for and properly prioritized. And give to the kindred his due and to the Miskîn (poor) and to the wayfarer. But spend not wastefully (your wealth) in the manner of a spendthrift . [Quran 17:26] ...That you should feed them as you feed yourselves, clothe them as you clothe yourselves [Ahmed/sahih] And the man is responsible for his household and will be asked about his responsibility [Bukhari] Hind (bint Utba) said to the Prophet, Abu Sufyan is a miserly man and I need to take some money of his wealth. The Prophet (saaws) said, Take reasonably what is sufficient for you and your children. [Bukhari 9.291, Narrated Aisha] The Prophet (saaws) said, You will not find me to be miserly, cowardly, or a liar. [Muwatta 21.22] Allahs Messenger (saaws) said, The generous man is near Allah, near Paradise, near men and far from Hell, but the miserly man is far from Allah, far from Paradise, far from men and near Hell. Indeed, an ignorant man who is generous is dearer to Allah than a worshipper who is miserly. [Tirmidhi 1869, Narrated Abu Huraira] That when the husband boycotts the marital bed, he does not leave the house to do so Equal time with her husband if she is a co-wife (i.e. it is a polyganous marriage) That the husband does not invoke evil upon her from Allah, swt, such as saying may Allah make your face ugly That she is never striked in the face or ever hit in a way to cause physical injury. Remember... Allah, subhana watala, sees everything we do!
Posted on: Sun, 13 Apr 2014 01:00:00 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015