Africa – Oh if only we could ship’em all back! There’d be no welfare or food stamps or crime or anything bad ever again! I hear it’s called the “Dark Continent” and I think you know why… *WINK* Asia –Great food! Also, all my stuff seems to be made there. At least it’s cheap! I can’t afford expensive stuff since the factory closed down for some reason. Good thing I always shop at Walmart! Australia – Killed off indigenous population? Check! Only a handful of important cities on the West & East Coasts with not much in-between? Check! Anti-immigration politics? Check! Poorly concealed racial tensions? Check! Homeland of St. Murdoch? Check! Natural disaster blamed on sin instead of science? Check! My God! It’s like a little America! It even LOOKS like America, just all upside down and stuff! Now if we could only teach them to speak English… Europe – Nothing but Commies and Socialists! And no, we DIDN’T come from England. If we evolved from the English, why are there still English people? Ha! Answer THAT, you liberal snob what with your fancy book learning! U S A! U S A! South America – More Socialists and all those jungles that hippy environmentalists are trying to “save.” Like anyone cares about some trees and frogs… say, do you know what today’s smog index is? Central America – The single most dangerous area in the world. Riddled with drug cartels and Hispanics, the tide of immigrants threatens our very way of life. We should nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure. The Middle East – The single most dangerous area in the world. Riddled with terrorists and Muslims (same thing, really), the creeping tide of Sharia threatens our very way of life. We should nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure. China – The single most dangerous area in… wait, that’s from next years’ script textbook… Soviet Union – Well, yes, it’s just Russia now but they’re still Commies! Well, OK, they’re not REALLY Commies anymore but they still have nukes! Well, sure, they’re reducing their stockpile in accordance with Obama’s START treaty but JUST SHUT UP AND BE AFRAID!
Posted on: Thu, 30 Jan 2014 16:29:01 +0000
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