After a good long think about what actually is valuable and what should be changed about the concept and the word mansplaining (thanks to Joe Norman and David Boxenhorn) I have this basic outline. 1. The concept: The idea behind it struck a chord with many many women and if for no other reason than that, it should be considered carefully. 2. The facts: While mansplaining cant be measured directly, its part of a larger theme of people (more men than women) dominating conversations (and not allowing space for people to contribute, and not noticing this about themselves), and under estimating the capacities of their interlocutors.This is particularly painful for some people (mostly women) for various reasons such as socially enforced differences in conversation styles, and relative systemic lack of power, and should be addressed. Perhaps this is best described as being driven by ego, as in the distinction between debate and dialectic? Perhaps even this is not sufficient. They may be honest mistakes, but they are not harmless, and they are not random. 3. The benefits: The Power of Words: When a child is upset or confused, we help them to find words to describe what is happening to them, and this process helps them to deal with their experience. This is universal and important to development. Labeling cultural things like mansplaining is the equivalent process for ourselves as a society. We find words to express the things that we are going through, and by doing so, are able to deal with them better. Why we cant just ignore it to make it go away: I used to think that if we wanted to live in a society that wasnt racist, it was counterproductive to talk about issues of race. After all, doesnt that draw more attention to race as a way of dividing people? What I slowly came to realize, is that even though my ancestors were not enslaving black people and I am as unracist as I can possibly be, I am still part of this larger social order. There are systematic inequalities and I benefit from them. Being aware of them helps us to battle them, and being unaware of them we necessarily blindly contribute to them. Awareness + Action: Being aware of social gender differences can help everyone to understand the broader patterns in our society and to navigate interactions more smoothly. If, for example, as a woman I have read about these different conversation styles and find myself in a conversation where I am being mansplained, or I am getting less of a chance to speak than the men who are dominating, I can label it as part of a larger cultural phenomenon in my mind, and ramp up my aggression in the conversation to match. Alternatively, if I am a man and I notice that a woman is being relatively humble or shy, I can tone down my aggression to match hers and make sure Im not stomping around blindly. The point is to be aware of systematic differences so we can find a place that matches, so we can be respectful of each other and get the most out of our conversations. Culture of Power: If you remain unconvinced that this is an issue that needs to be addressed, talk to some women you know and listen to their experiences. The tricky thing about being in the culture of power is that you are unaware that it exists, precisely because you are part of the in-group. Theres no good short way to describe it that doesnt sound like you just dont understand because youre a man, but consider the possible truth behind that statement, replacing man with a member of the in-group. 4. The cost: While being aware of our implicit biases through words such as racism is extremely valuable (beyond just talking about power in general) in our journey to contributing less to the inequalities, the word mansplaining is absolutely not nice. This is understandable since its a jab that bubbled up from a place where we didnt have words and caught on because of its resonance with so many peoples experiences. It comes from a place of hurt, so its loaded with hurt. Im glad it caught on, and bubbled up in our collective consciousness, and now its time for a rebranding, if we want to actually grow as a society and not just hurl insults at each other. 5. Rebranding: I want a word that doesnt target any particular group of people. So replacing mansplain with nerdsplain for example, just attacks nerds and has the exact same problems. I want a word like Racism that captures all the power dynamics that mansplain is captializing on (which Condescension for example doesnt capture). So, thoughts on a better word? Maybe Self-Blindness?
Posted on: Tue, 16 Sep 2014 20:57:08 +0000
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