After a long talk with my wife and my two girlfriends and our 5 kids; including the one I dont usually talk to because hes gay, Ive decided to run for Brocktons ward 7 city council seat in 2015 as a Republican choice for this great city and its wonderful people (except all the foreigners and gays and school teachers and Italians and greedy city workers who hate America). To show you that Im worthy of the honor of representing the people of Ward 7, (except all the foreigners and gays and school teachers and Italians and greedy city workers who hate America), Ive gone out and captured an American Bald Eagle which I plan to place in all my campaign photos (Stapled it to my banana microphone so it cant fly away). As you can see; Ill also will be wearing my American flag lapel pin which is twice as big as any American flag lapel pins worn by my opponents. Its also a double American flag which symbolizes that Im twice as American as any of them. I suspect its because they hate America but thats for you the intelligent voter to decide. I also wanted to make sure you folks know how much I love America (except all the foreigners and gays and school teachers and Italians and greedy city workers who hate America), by hiring 2 homeless veterans to carry an American flag behind me wherever I go; just incase someone decides to take a picture of me and the 5 F-16s I hired to fly in formation above my head at all times. So if you live in Ward 7 and youre not a foreigner or gay or a school teacher or Italian or a greedy city worker who hates America, then I want your vote. Between now and the time of the election, youll continue to see me out in the community helping the people of Brockton (As long as theres cameras there), and youll continue to read here on The Brockton Hub about all the gross pain in the ass volunteering I do here in the city for its great people (except all the foreigners and gays and school teachers and Italians and greedy city workers who hate America). If you see me in the streets putting stolen campaign signs on your lawn without your permission, or you see me at Blanchards liquors buying wine, or you see me shopping at Market Basket showing my support for corporate America against all these lazy employees who want to be paid just as much as me; but arnt willing to put in the hard work of tricking people with American flags, eagles and F-16s, then be sure to stop and say hello, Im here to help, unless of course youre a foreigner or gay or a school teacher or Italian or a greedy city worker who hates America. And remember, It may take a carpenter to build a city, but it takes a clown to run a circus. Paid for by the committee to call bullshit on the endless amount of bullshit I see before me every day.
Posted on: Thu, 31 Jul 2014 17:23:38 +0000
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