After being married almost nine years, Randy Lutjen still hasnt learned when to keep his mouth shut. Tonight we were talking and I made a comment that life at 37 was pretty good. He looked at me and said 37 huh? I was slightly miffed that he didnt know how old I was and so I snidely replied yes Im 37. I just had a birthday. I guess since you fished on my birthday you dont recall it occurring. He didnt bat and eye and asked again how old I was. By this time I was more than upset. I told him for the third time I was 37. He shook his head and said you are 38, you moron. I lost my temper at that point. We have been married almost nine years and he has no clue how old his wife is?!!?? I informed him that he was obviously losing his memory and perhaps he should keep his mouth shut if he didnt know what he was talking about. To this, Randy reminded me that the women in my family do have a tendency to forget how old they are and it was apparent I shared that genetic trait as well. In all fairness, I should point out that my great aunt did lose a year off her age at 39. She simply did not want to turn 40, so she stayed 39 for two years. At 91 years of age, she had a conversation with a social security clerk who told her she was 92. She yelled at that clerk and said I most certainly am not. I am only 91. However, when the math was done, she realized she was, in fact, 92. She was so traumatized by that conversation that she died shortly thereafter. When I pointed out to Randy that I wasnt trying to skip turning 40 as it was a few years away still, he told me to pull out my iPhone calculator and type in 2014 and subtract 1976 from it. I smugly told him in what orifice he could stick his little calculations, but as soon as he turned his back, I did exactly as he had suggested and almost had a stroke when it said I was 38. I must have muttered something, because he turned back around and gloatingly pointed out that he was right. I had to fight the urge to launch my iPhone at his gloating face. However, I kept my temper in check, got up and walked out of the room. I tripped on the way out and he said something under his breath. I didnt quiet hear it all, but it sounded suspiciously liked better be careful, at 38 your much more likely to break a hip than you were at 37! He may think he got the last laugh, but I am a million steps ahead of him. He believes I post all of his antics for giggles, but really I am doing to it pollute the pool of possible jurors. At some point in time, I am likely to poison him. And I almost feel sorry for the prosecutor. He will have an impossible time seating a jury because when he inquires as to whether anyone knows me, there are now hundreds of people who will be standing up saying well I would have killed him after the such-and-such incident! I wouldnt have even let him live after the events before that! Guess I will be getting the last laugh after all :)
Posted on: Sun, 25 May 2014 04:15:56 +0000
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