After much goading and prodding, here are seven things about me: 1) You will never know me. 2) I will never let you near enough to me for you to have the faintest inkling as to my true identity. 3) Flattery, seduction, or outright begging will get you no closer to the truth behind my steely façade. 4) Trying to befriend me will only leave you in a state of tearful sorrow, followed by an even deeper-lasting melancholia at my sheer unbefriendability. 5) If you lie about knowing me to strangers, I will hunt you down, and in the dead of night, whisper demonic poetry into your ears that will ruin you forever. 6) My soul is a rotting carcass on a desolate wasteland, forever being pecked at by vultures. 7) I once met Ross Kemp.
Posted on: Sun, 25 Jan 2015 11:17:30 +0000
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