After reading a friends latest entries in her diary, I thought about writing my closing arguments on friendzoning and nice guys finish last. I decided that it isnt worth my energy right now. But Ill say the following and leave it at that: Friendzoning is an act of selfishness. This is because love is beautiful when youre the recipient. When someone loves you, they make you a very high priority in their lives. You benefit a lot from that. Theyre always there for you. You can count on that. If you have any kind of need, they will be right there to stretch themselves and provide it. But heres where it gets tough: love is vastly expensive to the lover. The lover spends a very difficult kind of currency - themselves. Where do you replenish such expenses? Only from other people who love you in the same degree. Now, someone is spending themselves on you and you enjoy that. But you would rather not spend yourself on them for whatever reason is applicable to you. What do you do? Call Love Friendship and invent arguments for why they should keep up the expense even when it kills them to do so. That is what makes the Friendzone issue difficult to leave alone. Those who have been drained like that tend to be cynical about love and the value or worth of fellow human beings. About the nice guys finish last matter, I have only this to say: like attracts like. If a woman is attracted to men who do not respect or value womanhood, it says a lot about her not just about men who do respect womanhood. If a woman wants tough guys who are all about swag and money and bachelor pads, whatever she says about them being real and all that, it means only that she is not very interested in motherhood and stability. You want to live the life of the club and spotlights, you dont belong in the home, the kitchen and the bedroom and nursery. Its that simple. When a man or woman is ready to take on life, they dont look for fast-moving stuff, they look for deep roots. And if they have spent their youth running around and jumping on every train headed south, well they have the consequence that they will not be very deserving of any kind of love, to say nothing of a good mans or womans love. Forgiveness exists to ensure that they can be rescued but it is not something they have any right to. So if youre a nice guy and the flashy girls are giving you the cold shoulder, move on. Dont complain. Simply build yourself a life you can be proud of and you will have your own pick of women. Dont be bitter about other peoples choices even if they hurt you. Just free them and thus free yourself to breathe, to live, to grow and become everything you can be. Addendum: I realize that there is a conflict about the definition of nice guys. I have only this to say about it: there are dull guys, there are players and there are decent men. Dull guys are boys who have not acquired the, er, balls to take on life. Players are the typical bad boys. Decent men are the nice guys in question here. Decent men make homes. They tend to keep long relationships so whenever theyre in the market after their first time, they arent nearly always the most polished. They place their women very high on their priority list because they understand gow critical the role of womanhood is to a man. You dont generally find them in clubs, not because they dont like fun but because they have moral boundaries. You wont meet them at strip joints unless theyre on a break from decency. They arent regulars at pick-up bars and restaurants because some things tend to be overdone. A decent guy is simply a man with boundaries. He does not live on a constant high. He is a centered person and does not chase thrills as a matter of course. Thats the nice guy here. If you have any other definition, it doesnt apply to my arguments. There, have a nice thought or two now
Posted on: Mon, 24 Nov 2014 07:47:32 +0000
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