After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box. ~ Italian proverb ***** Men are like linoleum floors. Lay em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years. ~ Betsy Salkind ***** The only reason they say Women and children first is to test the strength of the lifeboats. ~ Jean Kerr ***** Ive been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor ***** You know youre a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesnt. Jeff Foxworthy ***** When a man opens a car door for his wife, its either a new car or a new wife. ~ Prince Philip ***** A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. ~ Emo Philips. ***** Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself. ~ Harrison Ford ***** The best cure for sea sickness is to sit under a tree. ~ Spike Milligan ***** Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. ~ Robin Hall ***** Kill one man and youre a murderer, kill a million and youre a conqueror. ~ Jean Rostand. ***** Having more money doesnt make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but Im just as happy as when I had 48 million. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger. ***** We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea. ~ WH Auden ***** In hotel rooms I worry. I cant be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. Jonathan Katz ***** If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead. ~ Johnny Carson ***** I dont believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and were very sceptical. ~ Warren Tantum ~ ***** Hollywood is the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man in a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap. ~ Steve Martin ***** Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. ~ Jimmy Durante ***** America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. ~ Doug Hamwell ***** The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone. ~ George Roberts ***** If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. ~ Jonathan Winters ***** I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. ~ Robert Benchley
Posted on: Mon, 28 Oct 2013 19:41:21 +0000
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