Again, sorry about the swears. Assumption Abbey Fruitcake, from - TopicsExpress

Again, sorry about the swears. Assumption Abbey Fruitcake, from the Haters Guide to the 2013 Williams-Sonoma Holiday Catalogue Williams-Sonoma says: Baked by trappist monks at a monastery in the Missouri Ozarks. Order early. Supply is limited. Price:$39.95 Notes from Drew: Everything about that sales copy just blew my skull. There are trappist monks in the Ozarks? Do they brew artisanal meth? I dont trust fruitcake to begin with. I sure as shit am not trusting fruitcake that comes from a redneck friar. Theyll swap out uppers for candied fruit. And yet, supply is limited. Apparently, the market for $40 Ozark fruitcake is ENORMOUS. White women from Bridgehampton ALL THE WAY to Westhampton rely on the monks to deliver their holiday fruitcake every year. Ina Gartens ADORABLE HUSBAND JEFFREY WHO MAKES A LOT OF MONEY loves the sight of a fine white-trash-monk fruitcake any time he comes home. TIE IT UP WITH THE TWINE!

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