Ahem: I just wanted to let everyone know that I have been lying to all for a very long time. The truth is, that I am a former KGB triple agent in the employment of a secret multi-national corporate conglomerate set on taking over the governments of 13 first world nations using disinformation about alien intelligence. I was born on Omicron Theta in the Galactic Year 67230 and was originally a pre-invasion reconnaissance spy, but fell in love with a Moldavian woman whose parents were ex-communicated and took refuge in Ukraine before the rise of the Soviet Bloc. I defected, told Brezhnev about the intended invasion, infiltrated US intelligence and was eventually burned because I got too closely attached to a Rottweiler Intel delivery animal code named Jaysus. I was given permanent human form and placed with an American family whose memories were altered to believe I was one of them. I couldnt live with my deception anymore, and I am voluntarily divulging the names of fellow Thetan spies Tom Cruise, Paul Ryan, and Kirk Cameron. On behalf of all Omicron Thetans, I apologize about Cameron. Thank you.
Posted on: Wed, 02 Apr 2014 03:11:29 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015