All I want for Christmas Is a stop to the mental and physical pain and torture. No more death and torture by the thousands , even if I dont know them. No more self-harm and mental and physical illness for my close and dear beloved. Please, Creator We , I , could not be made for this world of constant sorrow , seeing my loved ones , strangers , twisting in the great maw of Darkness. Being constantly consumed by Fire , but never finished , never mercifully , finally done. I dont understand , Friends. I dont understand at all. And as the terrifying vortex swirls around us , and we stumble blindly through snow , and gaudy wrapping paper, through expectations and pain, through decades of misunderstanding , through piles of black sheeps wool , through more pain, and even more pain, through the blinding light of day Through all these horrors and more , my friends , I am by your side. I hold your hand , your heart , in mine , and I try to warm it , offer it protection. I have so little , but I have my life and I have the warmth of my blood and my love. None of these things are worth much to me , other than the comfort they might afford someone else. Someone like you , like any of you. If given the chance , and the need , Id wrap your heart in mine , out in the freezing snow. Id give any one of you all that I have. I am attached to nothing material , you can have it all. And if I could give you my heart , my blood , my all, I would. I love that hard , and its all useless to me. I mean really , look what Im doing with it All I want for Christmas is a ceasement of Pain . But Life marches on and ceases for no man. And that is what Life is , Man being eaten alive by Time , mangled in Its jaw. And all you can do is appreciate the dizzying scenery as you are consumed. A patch of blue sky passes , your spine is crushed. A pretty yellow flower , the decay of internal organs. You peer into the eyes of a loved one and dont even feel your legs being broken. Like being in a cement mixer , the world kaleidoscopes in the Wee round window. And so you must enjoy the view from The Great Maw as it consumes you alive. And Praise whatever made you for the yellow flower and the patch of blue sky , and especially for your loved ones. For the times you touched their hands , their lips. The times you lost yourself in their eyes , their arms. And the times when the lines between one and one dissolved , were blurred, were destroyed completely , and two truly were one. Little , everyday , holy miracles like that. Carried with you inside the maws and jaws And Ill never be alone again , because you live within my skin , forever , in my eyes and heart and blood and soul and I need it as I face Death again and again and again. And Old Death , I know Him , better than some family. So enough of all this typing , just know this my Dear Friends. I do the best I can for a Woman being eaten alive , a girl coming apart at the ends. As a friend once said well She comes apart at the seams faster than we can stitch I may be flawed and falling apart , I may be being consumed alive , but all I am made of , all thats inside , is love all glowing , with shadows of pain , shrinking bright , like noon day shadows. Merry Christmas from The Belly of the Beast. Ill either get busy living or get busy dying , friends. Im trying so hard to fight for the former , but Ive been fighting so long. And Im tired.
Posted on: Sat, 20 Dec 2014 20:46:58 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015