All anyone ever wants in this world is #acceptance. Acceptance from the ones they care about the most; the ones they love. Sometimes it really is painful for me to not be able to share everything that I really want with my family. Its hard to have absolutely no one to talk to about the things that are really on my mind. I keep things so bottled up inside because I truly am afraid of what people will think and what people will say. I have seen and heard of so many other situations where the parents and family members of others like me were more or less accepting than my own so I know that the grass isnt always greener on the other side. I just wish that it was on my side. I wish that I didnt have to hide my true self from my closest friends and family members. Even the ones that do know about my lifestyle do not necessarily know how I truly am on the inside; how I would like to be on the outside. I get tired of masking myself in front of my younger siblings because I dont want to be the blame if either of them turn out to be like me. Because I was just like them when I was their age. No one influenced me to be #gay. I was #bornThisWay. I live my life free of regret. But sometimes I do regret #comingOut. I regret coming out because I will never know how life would have been if I never told anyone. How I would have been treated. How close we could have been. I lost many friends after coming out. And many people may say that they were never true friends, but thats a lie. They were true friends. They were damn good friends. They were just afraid and confused. Nobody wants people to assume that they are something that they are not. Especially at the age that I came out. At a time where your reputation meant more at times than the grades that you made. A time where, you had to know somebody to be somebody. I loved sports. I loved football - and still do - basketball, baseball, track, and tennis. But the players didnt love me. That is after I came out, of course. I loved marching band. It was literally one of my favorite things in high school. But there were those that didnt want me there, or those like me. Why am I typing all of this? Why am I publicizing my thoughts and feelings? It is because there is someone out there that is going through this struggle right now. There is someone out there who wishes that he or she could be his or herself, but there are also people out there who are ignorant to the fact that they are assisting in creating an environment where it is hard, fearful, and too risky for that person to do so. So my message is to both people on the inside looking out and those on the outside looking in. #BeYourself and allow others to be themselves around you. Stop trying to be cool. Stop trying to be popular. Accept different points of view. Think about where someone comes from before you judge a person for their actions, their goals and aspirations, or their lifestyle. But most of all understand that for many people, including myself, it is not a choice for us to love who we love. But it will always be a choice to hate others for who they love.
Posted on: Sat, 29 Mar 2014 22:58:40 +0000
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