All parties summed up. Please refer to this anytime you feel compelled towards political action: 1. Democrats: Walking repositories of rhetoric, these people believe that man cannot be trusted with the government of his individual self and thus, believe in a big, invasive government. They also know nothing about government, and still have no idea what happens when you give it all the power. They also hate history. 2. Republicans: believe that if man cannot be trusted to govern himself, then no one else is fit to govern another. Then, they take all this logic, chuck it out the window and hire a big government. Republicans and democrats are exactly the same, except that Republicans have this habit of imparting limited government ONLY on the aspects of polite society that need big government most. Namely, foreign oil. They also hate marijuana because Jesus. 3. Libertarians: believe that if man cannot be trusted to govern himself, and if man therefore cannot be trusted to govern another, then we should hire someone to govern someone, because perpetuating a system they believe to be faulty is not in any ways immensely hypocritical. 4. Anarchists: hate the government period. Then benefit from having one, and see no conflict of interests. 5. Tea partiers: basically republicans, only, hate foreign oil, love American oil, and know nothing about oil in general. Generally rich, these people worship Michelle Bachman, purely because she is one of them and is a woman, meaning they have a chance to convert democratic lesbians. They also hate women and lesbians... No word on how this works out. 6. Molan labers: care about absolutely nothing but guns. They also hate Obama, and will protest him taking a dump, waking up early or getting a boil lanced. Like saying, out of my cold, dead hands, as they believe the end is absolutely nigh and the government they pay for is out to get them and yet, they continue to pay taxes. 7. Green party: yeah, just kidding. 8. Occupiers: while not an actual party, they are basically the democrat version of tea partiers. The major difference is that while the tea party is mostly made up of rich, old, white men and their subservient women, the occupiers are entirely comprised of people that went to Burning Man. These college-going trust-fundies will protest literally everything including cops, guns and GMOs, as long as they have police with guns guarding them, and Starbucks keeps cranking out the Monsanto lattes. 9. Independants: basically democrats that didnt vote for Obama the second go-round, but did the first. Have ideals virtually indistinguishable from the democrats, except they may have skimmed through something written about Civil Disobedience in college, and thus, feel smarter for it. They also feel that Wikipedia should be a citeable source on college papers. Note: never donate to it.
Posted on: Sun, 18 Jan 2015 21:14:02 +0000
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