Almost 19 years ago, the cows were sold and the fences were rolled up and tossed aside. In the time thats passed since, equipment has been sold, things have collected dust, buildings have fallen in. i moved off. Went to college out of state, moved to New York. And decided i was not going back home... A few months ago, my dad got a wild hair to fix one of the old John Deere tractors and get it running. Slowly, the project has come to life - old parts have been replaced, new tires added. i hadnt given it much thought. Until yesterday. He sent me to get some fuel for the old tractor and when i came back with it, he cranked it up and half asked-half told me (if) i wanted to drive it. No. i didnt. Too much time had passed. The thought of climbing up the grand machine and taking control of it terrified me. Could this be safe? Would i even remember how to drive it? But he convinced me. He sat on the fender and shouted orders over the sound of the coughing diesel engine - and within a few minutes, it was coming back: put it in gear... let off the clutch... lower the plow... give it some throttle... turn with the brakes... Soon, it was natural again. Almost as if i had never left. Somehow, up there, a lot of things made sense. Somewhere in looking for adventure, i had lost my sense of, well, adventure. The sweet smell of burning diesel, the rattling of the engine, the churning of dirt under the plow... It all brought back so much i had forgotten, somehow along the way - a sense of freedom, a part of myself either left behind or forgotten... It felt like home. Again. In some ways, it was like riding a bike; you never really forget. And in other ways, no matter how close it feels, you can never go back.
Posted on: Mon, 28 Oct 2013 02:07:16 +0000
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