Almost 20 years ago I met a bunch of people thru my frequenting of the legendary Newspeak bookstore in general, and my joining the infamous Providence Film Group in particular. All these years later Im still good (or, Id like to think so) friends with a handful of these folks. Frank Difficult, Joan dArc, Ben Roth, Robert Jaz, Guy Benoit, John Spencer DeVault, Alec K. Redfearn, StuarT PowerS, Nikoletta Zotos, Cinzia Cittadino, Dave Almeida, Lesley Bartholomew Malouin , Mark Laskey, Mark Elliott, Gerry Heroux, just to name a few. One of the people I met early on at the Film Group meetings, was somebody a little special. That first night he came many people there had different reactions to this individual, most found him somewhat annoying, or irritating. I myself found him to be funny, in an off beat kind of way, and I liked him. As time went on, and other peoples feelings towards him either changed, notified, or got stronger, maybe even to the point of dislike (or hate) with a few. Ours grew. I found sort of a kindred spirit with this sometimes wacky individual. He was smart, very smart and when you got to know him well, found he was extremely kind and good hearted. But, he was also a troubled soul, dealing with some dark things in his past and struggling with mental illness. His name is Jim Donahue. Yesterday I received a voicemail message on my phone from his truly wonderful mother conveying in a heart breaking voice that Jimmy had committed suicide. I was devastated, as I am now as I type this. My friend was gone and I cried. Now, I hadnt seen Jim in a long while, but would talk to him frequently on the phone and he would tell me of his dissatisfaction with his life. He would work and then retreat to his room and drink, repeating this day after day. I tried my best to get him to come out, or for me to come over to see him, but to no avail. His mom appreciated my efforts, but I felt helpless. The last time I talked to him, he said very little. That was a while ago, and every week I would remind myself to call him, but would get wrapped up in my own shit, and forget, saying to myself that I would call soon. Now this. I pray to God that he didnt feel abandoned by who he considered his only friend. My heart breaks to think that my own lack of attention contributed in any way the horrible decision he made. A part of me will carry this guilt till the day we met again. Jim Donahue, for all his faults and all his missteps in life was a truly one of kind individual, one of those selfless people who would literally give you the shirt off his back. He was my friend, and I will miss him with all my heart. I hope you have finally found the peace that you always wanted. Goodbye my friend, till we meet again.
Posted on: Sat, 17 May 2014 16:15:26 +0000