Amanda would be celebrating her 30th birthday this Friday, June 7. As I think back over her life I want to take a few minutes to talk to those of you who knew her the last few years, after she moved to Raleigh, those of you who, as you have read my posts have possibly thought: “If she only knew. How would she feel?” Can I tell you that I do know. I have known for a long time. I read the some of the same things you read, heard some of the same things you heard, was told by Amanda some of the same things you were told. I cannot tell you that the knowing did not change my love for my child. It did. It became stronger and more fierce as I absorbed her pain, apologized to her for my part in causing it and actively sought ways to help ease it. Amanda had many questions to the end but the Lord blessed in our relationship and it became sweeter than ever to me and, I hope, to her. I can say “no regrets” and mourn this temporary separation from my beautiful, talented, less-than-perfect daughter as her less-than perfect mother, with a heart of full of gratitude to the God who loves us all unconditionally. I can also rejoice for Amanda, who is now in the presence of that Love with all her questions answered and perfect understanding of this thing called life. “For now we see through a glass darkly; but then face to face:now I know in part; but then I shall know even as also I am known.” I Corinthians 13:12
Posted on: Thu, 06 Jun 2013 01:45:37 +0000