Amber you dont think I ever thought you werent fun, do you? That is not what this self confidence thing you are always talking about is, is it? There was just something I saw in one of your photos, the color run one. Like yo I hope you dont think that. Like you were always fun, like I thought it was you always freaking out on me because I was being too lame, intersected with some times I thought you figured were just you know, lingering around okay or good, but nothing I thought you saw like the first two weeks we spend together. Like I hope you dont think I really have been having that much fun since gone, like I dont know what you thought when I was at UAlbany, but I was just always weary of you because there seemed to be animosity in you when we talked online, and even as I thought always then disintrest in whatever I was saying. Like untillyou called me when living downtown. I am sorry I never called you back after times like that, like the one when you called me that summer after, but you would always leave this effect on me in how you said goodbye like you felt guilty about talking to me again, and I dunno.. sorry I never called you. I was really dumb, I mean that thing when you tried to make like apoaintments for us to talk when we were fighting way back the fall after I left, like honestly that shit sets me off more than anything, like treating a thing like between us like its got to be planned. So I dunno, I guess I went off after that happened and we stopped talking... after that new years during that convo trying to make you do something crazy to get my attention, because I dunno... i cant have shit being boring, like talking like old friends or something. That is stupid. Like when you messaged me about graduating from college, I guess I see now how that was weird for you.. me going to Univerity and you still stuck back there in Casper.. like I am not suprised you got quiet after that... But like how sick were you then? I wish you would have told me, like talked about that atleast. Like I had no idea, like only now I am getting how bad it was. Like when we were living together, I know I did not care enough. But it was like if you lost your job because from being sick, like I knew you were awesome.. and you would just get another job when it went away again. but you are mad right if ya been mad at me about not caring about that enough. I am just you know, I don;t think about some important stuff, I cant give no excuse for that. But I wish you would just talk to me about that more, like sorry if I dont get it, and I dont seem to care. But I still want to hear about it, and like even that it is all better now, like I still wanna hear about it. Like is it really all okay? Like I dont even know what you found it out to be. I dunno, call me, maybe?
Posted on: Thu, 06 Mar 2014 07:42:10 +0000