Ambol to Zintac: An A to Z guide to Bengali indigestion after Durga Puja Tweet94 Durga Puja is the time of the year when mouthwatering lists of must-have Bengali delicacies pop up all over the media. But what the glut of prawn malaikari and kasha mutton recipes do not tell us is what five days of orgiastic festivity does to the Bengali stomach, always a delicate organ of nervous gastric disposition. In the spirit of public service Firstpost brings you the flip-side of the “Bengali dishes to die for” lists – a dictionary of Bengali indigestion. A -Ambol Acidity. Unavoidable Bengali condition precipitated by many factors – deep-fried puris after sunset, drinking water after savoury chanachur, fruits at the wrong time of the day, not listening to your mother. Ultra-sensitive Bengalis are known to get ambol just seeing parathas being fried in ghee on television ads. B -Badhajam Garden variety indigestion. Often precedes Ambol. Accounts for general dyspeptic disposition. Bengali version of what Germans call weltschmerz. C- Choa dhekur The long-lasting eggy burp brought on by gastronomic excess is the bane of Bengali existence. Assumes pandemic proportions during Durga Puja after copious roadside biryani consumption. D- Digene The Bengali after-meal saunf. After every wedding feast the Digene strip is ceremonially unrolled in Bengali households. “Will you have some Digene?” is a standard way Bengali family members tell each other good night. No wonder it is supposedly the largest selling antacid in the country. Many Bengalis however remain nostalgic for pink and chalky Gelusil. E - EatingOut EatingOut is the root of all evil starting from badhajam (see B) to general cultural decline. As the ad for mustard oil says now that he’s married a Punjabi girl, ekhon shudhu eating out (now only eating out). In Bengali “eatingout” is usually one word. Image: Sandip Roy/Firstpost Carmozyme, Isabgol andImage: Sandip Roy/Firstpost F- Fatafat Small black ayurvedic digestive pills reputed to give you quick relief from indigestion. Its Wikipedia entry, probably written by a Bengali, says “it makes bowel movements nice and easy ands smooth.” Unlike Unienzyme (see U) it is part of our cultural heritage since, again according to Wikipedia, Bheem used them after copious amouts of feasting. G- Ghol Ghol is not lassi because the latter is Punjabi and thus by definition non-Bengali. However both include dahi,sugar and salt. Ghol might have a squeeze of gandharaj lemon. Gholer sharbat is how the Bengali keeps his insides cool and thus biryani-ready. H - Hajmola Dabur’s Ayurvedic digestive tablet even features on a Buzzfeed video of snacks to spring on unsuspecting Americans. While it is famous all over India, as THE Ayurvedic pill for indigestion and flatulence, Bengalis will say sadly it’s not jowaner arak (see J). I - Isabgol Psyllum husk or dietary fiber for regular bowel movements is a carefully timed Bengali ritual to ensure the “pressure” comes at exactly the right time. No Bengali wants to wake up at the crack of dawn thanks to some mistimed Isabgol. J - Jowaner arak The pungent bright orange Aqua ptychotis made for ajwain seeds is the Bengali saffron – more valuable than gold. Made by Bengal Chemicals it is the only reason the Bengali race has not been wiped out by dyspepsia. Sadly, in globalised India it is becoming harder to find. Thankfully its cousin Carmozyme brewed from Nux Vomica tincture and cardamom is still fairly easily available. K - Kaanch kola sheddho Green plantain boiled and mashed. Punishment food after too much excess, this is the Bengali version of penance. Some mustard oil and green chilli can be snuck in because too much penance is inedible. Bengalis also turn kaanch kola into koftas and deep-fry them. L -Loose motion Otherwise known as pet chhaaraa (aka stomach running loose). If you go to a pharmacy in Bengal and ask for some stomach pills this is the standard diagnostic question. Loose motion? If affirmative, the next diagnostic question is shokal thekey kotobaar? (How many times since morning?) M -Myaj myaj The Bengali’s general malaise. Cause unclear. Symptoms include disgruntlement and extreme lethargy which are also normal Bengali conditions making it hard to diagnose myaj myaj. Myaj myaj typically includes a slight fever, usually under 100 degrees.When a Bengali has myaj myaj he does not want to leave the shire. A stall selling tasty ghugni in Kolkata. Image: Sandip Roy/Firstpost A stall selling tasty ghugni in Kolkata. Image: Sandip Roy/Firstpost N - Number 2 Urine is never called Number 1, but poop is always Number 2. Calling it by a number is also a handy way to discuss it at the breakfast table. Important discussion features pertaining to Number 2 are consistency, frequency and timing. One must always hail a good potty while buttering toast because the gods of crap must feel appreciated since the Bengali lives in perpetual dread of constipation. O – Orly The main culprit of Bengali’s post-Durga puja blues. The Fish Orly is a delicious abomination bringing together two of Bengal’s great loves – fish and batter fry. The smell of Fish Orly and biryani lingers around foodstalls during Durga Puja like a greasy fog. Eat more than one at your own peril. Rivaled in greasiness by the Mughlai paratha. P -Pet bhaar Literally heavy stomach meaning no appetite. The most sorrowful expression in the Bengali vocabulary because it is not accompanied by ambol (see A) or loose motions (see L) or choa dhekur (see C). In short, the Bengali feels physically fine yet unable to eat - an ominous sign. Double Isabgol dose (see I) immediately. Not to be confused with pet-kharap (stomach upset) or pet-byetha (stomach ache) or the non-specific pet theek nei (stomach not okay). Q - Queasy Ga golano or feeling queasy is a Bengali specialty. It can strike after the 8th deep-fried white flour luchi or the second Fish Orly (See O). In extreme cases post Durga Puja the very smell of biryani might induce this condition. Thankfully the effect is only temporary. R – Rich Rich or “ektu reech” (a little rich) as Bengalis describe it sums up almost everything that’s part of eatingout (see E) during Durga Puja. The post-midnight roadside biryanis and egg-chicken rolls eventually take a toll despite all the Pudinhara pills. “During pujas it’s always ektu reech,” laments the Bengali as they get ready to eat enormous amounts of sweets during the post-Puja Bijoya meet and greets. S - Shingi maachher jhol A whiskered catfish easily confused by non-Bengalis with its cousin magur. But a watery jhol with a shingi fish and some floating pieces of kaanch kola (see K) is THE illness-recovery stomach-settling stew in Bengal. Magur lends itself to richer preparations unsuitable for biryani-recovery. T - Thankuni pata The leaves of the thankuni plant better known as brahmi booti or Asiatic pennywort are made into a paste which is reputed to bring a running stomach (see P) to a grinding halt. In many other parts of the world it is known as medicine for high blood pressure and improving the skin condition. In Bengal it’s stomach medicine. It can also be chopped up, made into a ball and then deep fried which would seem counter-intuitive to the rest of the world but is quite logical to the Bengali. U – Unienzyme Bengali euphemism for gas and bloating. Uninenzyme contains activated charcoal and papain and can absorb all the sins of rich (see R) food. Rennie, Gelusil and Unienzyme were once as much part of Durga Puja as Lakshmi, Saraswati, Kartick and Ganesh. V – This letter does not exist in Bengali. W – Wind The Bengali has a long list of things that cause her wind but she eats all of them anyway. Khoob wind (Very wind) is a perfectly acceptable medical condition. A common topic of conversation for aging Bengalis who then swap homeopathic remedies for said condition. Always a good conversation piece in Bengal like the weather is in England. X: Xcess aka Durga Puja Five days of utter gluttony. While many magazines publish lists of traditional home recipes for Durga Puja most of Bengal barely has time to turn on the stove for anything other than boiling water for tea these days. Diets are thrown out of the window and there is barely an item to be seen which has not been deep-fried from fish chop to chicken lollypops. Durga Puja is followed by Bijoya which is a sweet-eating frenzy and continues until Diwali. Y – Yes The inability of the Bengali to say no to that third helping is responsible for many of the conditions listed here. “Yes, okay, one more” is a phrase countless Bengalis have lived to regret but yet learn nothing from. Usually they dismiss all qualms by saying “It’s OK, I will just take some Zintac” and assuming that the Mother Goddess will protect them. Z - Zintac Zintac before a meal and minty Pudinhara after is the sacred 21st century Bengali mantra to hope to survive the Puja gluttony. With valuable digestive inputs by Rajyasree Sen.
Posted on: Tue, 07 Oct 2014 06:39:14 +0000
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