Amidst such a chaos. Im smiling. I cant be angry forever. I wont be. It takes to much of what little energy I have left. To quote a real friend you are a part of her story too So true. I kept thinking that but it didnt make it any easier for me. But really when the reaper knocks and its curtains for us all at least I know I made a difference in a life or two. Im just sorry for all the pain I have caused my family let alone myself. I can handle it. I brought a lot of it to myself because I couldnt deal with things the right way. It was too much. I used to wish that no one cared about me so it would be easier for me to take myself out of this world but I see now that even if I didnt learn from my suffering someone else did. If I werent crazy my family never would have researched mental illness the way they did. All the related things that have happened to me happened to them as well by association. I cant say that I ever took the time to put myself in their shoes. Hearing their stories about me has almost always been embarrassing but it made them who they are today. I have always thought my sister was so successful not only because she has always worked hard but also because maybe she has to compensate for the things that I just can not do. That is all.
Posted on: Tue, 19 Aug 2014 23:30:31 +0000