Amr and I first met in Egypt when I was there on a short visit to a family member. We didnt want to meet each other, but we were both too embarrassed to say no to this proposition of someone we mutually trusted. We met in person just twice. Then I traveled back to Canada, and we kept in touch for a few months. After much discussion between the two of us, between my family and I, and many istikhara prayers, Amr and I got engaged on October 12, 2010. It was a simple engagement without a party or celebration; my father and I traveled back to Egypt for a few days to finalize things, and we were at his parents’ home. My father turned to Amrs parents and asked them do you agree for your son to be engaged to my daughter? and they agreed. He then turned to me and asked do you agree to be engaged to Amr? and I said yes. He turned to Amr and asked him do you agree to be engaged to Asmaa? and he said yes. Then my father said and I agree. And that was it – simple, beautiful, real. I turned to look at Amr and he was beaming. He was trying to hold it in, I could see that. But it wasnt working and he was absolutely beaming. I said “mabrook” with a smile on my face and his mom caught me in a hug. But even with all that evident happiness, Amr never told me he loved me…not before or after we were engaged. The words never escaped his lips. He waited until we were married two months later. We never went out without a proper chaperone. And even after we were engaged, our conversations were always within earshot of our families. None of this diminished our happiness. Our happiness was actually made more beautiful. Most of all, Amr struck me as a man with an integrity that is not easily matched. He understood the value of love and the value of maintaining modesty, even in a relationship that would end up being the closest relationship of our lives. He respected me enough to hold off on the things he may have desperately wanted to say. His desire to maintain his obedience to Allah was greater. And so I am grateful for Amr, in the present tense. I will not write that I “was” grateful for him, because that wouldnt be the truth. I am grateful for him even now that he is not by my side. I am grateful for him because he respected me, he changed me, he taught me, he grew with me. He is still very much a part of who I am and who I have become, even though we inhabit two completely separate worlds. I am grateful that he never told me he loved me until our wedding day. He taught me that love – real, merciful, lasting love – is a sacred thing. That which is given from your heart is the most valuable gift you can give someone. So its only fitting that you give your love carefully, at the right time, in the right place, and in a way that is pleasing to your Lord. Yes, I am grateful for Amr. Every day. Alhamdulillah.
Posted on: Mon, 13 Oct 2014 05:02:50 +0000
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