An ode to the incomer All the time we see them come Some are smart, some are dumb Some are black, some are white Chinese, Indian, Israelite Canadians, South Africans, often Brits Belize is great, home’s the pits We tell them come and stay awhile, Rent a house, Belizean style Never rush, never jump, Or you could buy a rubbish dump “Oh no! Not me” they often cry “I’ve been around, let them try I am too clever, worldly-wise To buy a swamp or collapsed high rise I know the law, bring them on” How often do we hear this song? “I got money, want to spend Cash to burn, cash to lend” “Slow down SLOW DOWN we tell them all” But rarely do they heed our call To hide your money, don’t be flash Don’t let them see your petty cash Take it easy, make no strife Come and try the easy life “I know, I know! I have a brain! Advice you give is all in vain I’m not stupid, been around, I’ve seen it all, there’s no new ground Was in Belize, stayed three days, Here’s my plans, be amazed Bought some land, has a creek Gone home to sell, be back next week” “Going to build, got so much space Belize will have to change its pace I’m getting old, don’t have time My place will be a real gold mine I’ll make a fortune wait and see My plans will work out faultlessly I’ll start a business make some money A king in the land of milk and honey” And so they come despite the warning Truck piled high and spend all morning At the border checkpoint getting mad Thinking that they’re being had “How can they charge? This stuff’s not new!” As they watch the customs turn the screw “My truck is dirty used and old I DIDN’T BRING THAT MUCH GOLD!” Credit card reaches max On environment and sales tax And their pockets full of hard earned booty Have emptied fast on import duty So to the ATM they have to dash When the Customs guy wipes out their cash It’s just a setback, not too bad They’re in Belize so just be glad So jubilant they wend their way To the jungle deep where big cats play Where mozzies bite and scorpions sting And the bush’s thorns large scratches bring To the forest damp where mildew grows To rot your ‘lectrics, shoes and clothes But they’re not daunted, they are strong How often have we heard this song? And oh! What Joy! They find their neighbour Can build their house, and do hard labour Can chop their bush, can plant their trees The smartest man in all Belize There is nothing that he can’t do Given cash and tools and wood and glue A house by Christmas, won’t take long How often have we heard this song? But cash aplenty are his needs To start construction, plant your seeds A new machete to chop your grass To build a road so you may pass He needs material, steel, and screws Cement and block, no time to lose Gimme dollah gimme quick Buy me hammer, saw and brick He has a cousin, wife and brother’s son His auntie’s uncle’s sister’s one His whole family will lend a hand To build your house and till your land To cook your meals and wash your clothes To guard your house whilst you doze It just takes money, little bit On little bit and bit and bit But soon those bills are getting large The money pit’s not free of charge The credit card is getting worn Our new arrivals look forlorn All the while demands for cash Are diminishing the money stash The materials that came were wrong The nails too short, the steel too long And wondrous neighbour soon forgot He told you he could do the lot Excuses and evasions come The started work was never done Sun too hot, it rain too hard Me granny dead, they burn ma yard Foot painin me, Ma house collapse Car done bruk, Licence lapse, Pickni sick, he very ill Gimme money to buy a pill Police ketch me, I done no wrong How often do we hear this song? And soon they meet officialdom To Belmopan they must come To show their passport, licence, form To stay in a land of sun and warm You residency they want to thwart Your retirement plans may come to naught Immigration take too long They’ve lost your file, your paper’s gone Pay more cash to extend your stay Wait one month or two they say The mall’s not built, the shops are bare Of modern goods ‘cept Chinese fare No bowling alley, cinema Was it wise to come this far? The roads are bumpy have big holes My pickup truck is looking old There’s no Big Macs or KFC Italian restaurant ceased to be The power’s hardly ever on How often have we heard this song? The rains did come, the land did flood The building site has turned to mud The lush mangrove that I cut down Has caused my coconuts to drown And even though I had a plan My huge Condo they want to ban It’s not my fault, Third World you see I am foreign, they pick on me My neighbour’s gone, my cash he took His auntie’s wife could never cook My tools, my blocks, my roofing tin Have vanished into air so thin Cement got wet, the sand was dirt My funds are gone I lost my shirt The gas was bad my truck has seized I won’t accept I’ve been Belized My health has failed not feeling well My worldly goods I have to sell Going back home, where things are normal Where rules are rules and life is formal And all because he didn’t listen To those well versed in his position He burned his bridges, came too fast And we all knew he’d never last We told him loud we told him blunt NEVER pay your cash up front NEVER think you know it all NEVER think our tale’s too tall And all advice that he forsook To never jump before you look Has sent him packing, pockets empty Back again to lands of plenty Be even though we are so smug We know Belize is like a drug That if you come and stay awhile You’ll be swept in Belizean style A pirate’s land, with pirate’s luck We need their cash, their loot, their buck Where many fail, just some succeed To fill that urge, that inner need To live a life, exotic, free Of jungle trail and sun and sea So who can blame them, those who come To try their luck with what we’ve done But sure as dawn on misty mornings The ones that fail, ignored the warnings That things are done here differently To the things back home you wish to flee So bide your time, be at ease Time means little in Belize Its not that we don’t know its wrong But we do get tired of this old song.
Posted on: Thu, 24 Jul 2014 22:54:55 +0000
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