An update on the NHS courtesy of NHS Networks: The emperor checks with his tailors The weather has taken a turn for the worse signalling the onset of winter – and the government is very worried. The prime minister called a council of Davids to Downing Street to discuss “winter pressures” – the triple evils of cold weather, flu and rising demand for services, particularly A&E. David Flory of the NHS Trust Development Authority, David Behan of CQC and David Bennett of Monitor were reportedly summoned to Number 10 to reassure the PM that the NHS will be able to cope. It was as if the emperor, in a fit of last-minute nerves, had gathered his tailoring team to check that his new wardrobe contains a few warm woollies. Throwing more Davids at the problem will not help. The health service regulators have so far offered little protection for the NHS’s spotty and unsightly parts. The secretary of state for health had a more imaginative idea. He proposed that we burn NHS managers earning more than £100,000 to keep warm during the winter months. The plan received some critical acclaim, but there may not be enough NHS senior managers to go round. Mr Hunt seemed curiously reluctant to expand the scheme to the private sector despite suggestions that bankers and the bosses of energy companies may also burn nicely. So much for the government’s commitment to alternative energy sources, came the cry from the opposition benches. Also this week, we learnt that flu, which until now was believed to be a virus, may in fact be caused by Andrew Lansley. Clare Gerada, the departing chair of the Royal College of General Practitioners, disclosed her evidence for the link between flu and the Health and Social Care Act during a valedictory interview. “The day the bill became an act I got the flu,” she told the HSJ. “It lasted about a month and I’m absolutely convinced I was ill because of the sadness of this bill going through.” Other doctors drafted in to help with the job of weaving the emperor’s elaborate new outfits have cited similar reasons for a range of anxiety related ailments. The wondrous new garments supposed to confer long lasting health and wellbeing – a gift from the nation’s councillors – are so fine they are practically invisible. But who are we to contradict the regular bulletins from the palace claiming that the emperor’s new clothes are splendid, well insulated and very nearly complete? They will get their first proper outing this winter. Meanwhile, the humble subjects of the realm are advised to wrap up warm, stock up on tomato soup and try to avoid health policy and other known causes of seasonal misery.
Posted on: Sat, 02 Nov 2013 12:38:38 +0000
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