And at times like these, I catch myself thinking of why is it so different and so hard now? What would happen ya3ny if I just come home from school, where I spent the day laughing, like really laughing until my stomach hurts, with my friends, only to watch one or two episodes of Friends. Why are my problems now more serious than the homework I should be doing, but I am too caught up watching some reality show that I used to enjoy, but now dont? Why did we have to be disillusioned? And why so viciously? And why so fast an too early? Why arent dads shoulders the highest place on earth now? And how come I feel so chocked up when I am literally standing on the peak of the highest places in my town? My biggest problem now is not a dress I want to buy but mom does not like it so I will have to fight for it. y fights are different now. It is not that she shouted at me, or that dad is so stubborn that he would not let me sleep over at my best friends. It is not that I am too stressed out because my exams are approaching and I have not studied a word. Why was that even stressful? That is just an exam, you know. Why am I now that person taking care of everything, not being taken care of, pampered as usual by my over-protective and indulgent parents? My biggest dream now is to return to the time I was 15, and we did not have as many TV channels back then as we do now. Life was so contained, simple, yet beautiful. May be we were not as much open as we are now, but we were happy, at ease, and we felt safe, even if bored at some point. What is the point of openness if it still fails to make you happy? What is the point of ANYTHING if it doesnt make you happy? I want to come home, throw my school bag and uniform around the place, hug my mum, smell her hair, have lunch, sit to watch one of my favorite shows, and sleep while enjoying my bar of chocolates, and even wake up the next morning feeling guilt for not doing my homework. That, I can handle, but what I am going through now....I doubt it. And please, dont tell me that is what growing up does to you. I have not grown up. I have grown old.
Posted on: Mon, 28 Apr 2014 22:14:30 +0000
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