Andrew C. Ervin has invented Facebook Honesty Day (did I get that right?). Heres some truth about truth, for me. Ive just started giving a speech to my female graduate students about my experiences as a woman in various industries (arts, entertainment, academe...) and one thing I mention is the accusation of being self promotional, which I see thrown at women from time to time to diminish what they actually do in their art and craft. Its a writers job to promote their work. Literally, some contracts state a number of days that I commit to being on the road. And, of course, my ability to continue to do the work that I do -- to write and publish -- is dependent on sales. But the truth is that I hate promoting my books. I hate waving my arms and asking all of you -- in some way or another -- to buy them. My grandmother used to always say, Its a sorry dog that dont wag its own tail. But the more social networking is a thing, the more I want to disappear from it. Id love to write books published as a specific anonymous person so one could see how the books fit together but they have no author -- no face, no signature scrawled inside. If I had the money, Id Salinger away -- without the grim mental issues and jumpsuit. But thats not an option. Writing is, in part, how I support a large family. Its what I love but its also my job. That said, what Id really love to do here is brag about my kids -- I have an instinct to do that every day -- but I do it very rarely and only my older two kids, not my younger two, and only if they are okay with it and its something already public, more or less. I feel like I cant share my family because I want to protect the most beautiful part of my life. Not from the people I know here, but from the larger public, the imprints on the internet. My awareness that this is a public place, increasingly public, is keen. I love to see what other peoples children are doing and how theyre growing and their day-to-day. For many reasons, I feel that I cant do that. So my honesty today is that I dont share the part of my life that means the most to me. And maybe that isnt to protect my kids -- or not solely -- but to protect myself. Im deeply conflicted about my existence here.
Posted on: Mon, 22 Sep 2014 15:40:32 +0000
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