Anon writes Please help. Since no.3 arrived (3 months ago) my almost 4 year old has been really struggling. I am doing my best to parent consciously through this transition and am aware of his change in behavior and am extending compassion and love. But its really really hard. Hes a big child and hes hitting me and hurting me. Controlling everything, demanding. Angry - and unhappy. I used to say about him that if you could bottle his joy youd make a fortune. But its all changed. This morning I lost it. My husband was out of town for the night. I brought him into the bed with me and between him kicking and moaning and the baby breast feeding I was up all night. I am tired and had to do breakfast (I do fruit, lemon water, porridge for them) prepare a healthy lunch, dress, feed baby and I was doing great until right when we were almost in the car and he played up again. I just snapped. He was demanding a ricecraker with jam, I had just made him toast with jam on another demand, I made 3 and we were all going to eat it in the car. He turned his nose up at it, he wanted 2, didnt want me or my eldest son to have one. We were late now, not their fault, I know that. But I was stressed and tired and he was screaming at me and I just snapped. I shouted, I threw the jam jar which fortunately didnt break. I pretended I was going to drive off and leave him there. I feel so bad. I failed him. He was crying and upset. I was so angry my blood was boiling. It was like the last 3 months caught up on me. He has actually hurt the baby, he dropped a booster seat on his tiny face and left him with a bruise. I hate myself for my reaction. Then I drove them all and I left him in playschool screaming not to be there. Clinging to me. But I had to get away. To have some space. I just needed to get away. I dropped my eldest to school and Im in a parking space now crying and shaking. I called the playschool and she said hes fine now. I feel like I failed him and failed myself. This is not how I chose to parent. Ive been giving him love and support through this time and today I failed. And I left him at school screaming for me and trying to grab me. I have never felt so low. My husband says we need to stand up to him. To let him know this behavior isnt acceptable but I dont like that approach. I really need some support on this please
Posted on: Thu, 04 Sep 2014 11:10:00 +0000
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