Another anonymous question from a FB friend of mine again. This one is a bit different because its about a current problem. The woman in question is facing a big dilemma deciding between her own safety & her childs relationship with her father. They are not in a relationship any more but she doesnt want to take him out of the childs life completely. In short, the problem is that the father of the child (which is still very young) has dangerous psychotic tendencies and has even frequently threatened to commit a Murder/Suicide on my friend. The dilemma is that, incredibly, he is actually very good with the kid. She doesnt worry at all about the kids safety. Also, to make things more complicated (of COURSE! you didnt expect anything less in this life did you!), there is the legal setback of not being able to leave the state/country without the permission of the father, who wont sign off, of course, because he wants to have access to his child, which he apparently loves. So my friend is caught between her own fears for survival (mind you, while this guy has not been overtly physically abusive, he has done things like unexpectedly kick down the door in the middle of the night, sneak into the house thru the window and end up sleeping on the couch, etc. So he could easily snap and do something crazy; Im certain hes capable of acting on his Murder-Suicide threats!) and her childs need of a father. I keep telling her shes too nice and that anyone else wouldve taken harsher measures against him...but, still, Im not the one to decide, or to judge. She also mentioned that she COULD go down the legal path and eventually get some restraining order or something but this will take time, as we know. And, of course, doing something not-so-ethical like finding some excuse to blow him away when he breaks in, is not exactly a solution either, since their kid needs a dad. One thing Ive noticed in this situation is that she is feeling sorry for him because he has had a hard life, blah, blah....well, as Ive told her before, I think thats not acceptable and she should take a harsher stance. So maybe you fine individuals can give her some rock solid arguments and will be able to convince her to change her attitude towards him. I mean, seriously, when a guy repeatedly threatens Murder-Suicide on you, you DONT exactly feel sorry for him just because he has daddy issues right? No, what you ACTUALLY should do is take steps to kick his ass, both physically and legally! Thanking in advance guys (Y)...this woman is a really good/cool person and we need to do our best to help her out!
Posted on: Sat, 28 Jun 2014 09:49:27 +0000