Another askance for my Friends and CoHorts to join me on my new page. THIS ONE WILL BE SHUT DOWN SOON... From nowhere this chilling choking trepidation filters down my neck and into my soul. Like a shadow starting to fall. Anxiousness and agitation follow suit and TheMeanReds settle in. Sad and hollow are my thoughts and I know not where it comes from. Staring in the mirror I realize I have of late lost all of my mirth, and I know not whence it fled. Why does it come? How it started? Questions only the gods can answer. I doubt myself, I doubt the world, I doubt whether this world would be better off without my presence. I study my pale chubby face in the mirror and wonder what the point of it all may be, the whether-to’s and the why-for’s jumble and fold. The pro’s and the con’s stack against each other and it seems that con has the advantage. My nerves fray and I wonder if I am more than a nuisance to all that may care for me. I am currently sucking down into my own soul trying to find where this has originated, where this kernel sprouted from and tear it from the ground, ripping it to pieces. I know I have cost my family more than just the pain that I afford; I wouldn’t fault them for resenting me, if they did. I know most of the dark days in our lives can be delineated to my presence, and the guilt crushes me like a tsunami. My mother and father have worked so hard for everything we have, but my life has drained them both. I know these thoughts these feelings are wasteful, but stopping it seems impossible. I am now for the likes of a good book or movie whilst I do battle with TheMeanReds...
Posted on: Tue, 09 Jul 2013 07:21:40 +0000
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