Another home run by Carlene Steenekamp. Yes its long, but worth the read...... The longer I am in the industry the more I have come to see it for what it truly is. So many people claim to be here out of their desire to help people or to inspire people. But the hard core truth, is that most people SAY that, but really, they are here for very self-serving reasons. They are here to make idols of themselves. They want to be lauded and praised and have affirmation showered on them with each daily selfie that they post. I fail to see how they are truly HELPING anyone. Im not in denial, physique sport is inherently about vanity - creating an aesthetically pleasing physique to be measured against the standard. This is one of the most vain industries there is. We call ourselves athletes, and many of us train like athletes. But it is not really an athletic sport because athletic sports arent subjective. To win a race, you must be the fastest that day. Its not left to individual points of view or personal biases. It is clearly decided and definitive based on what body crossed the finish line first. Ball games are based on who scores the most. Boxing, by who attempts and lands the most punches or gets the knock out. The rules in athletic sports arent subject to change on a daily whim or by the fancies of the particular judge who is seated at the table. I am not bashing physique sports; I still chose to do it, and I enjoyed it. But I have learned many lessons along the way. I have learned the truth about what it means to really help people. Posting pics of myself everyday isnt it. Proving I am beast mode every day, pushing through training while sick, missing my kids field days to prove my loyalty to a sport to prove Im awesome, or publicly calling myself fat because I appear to be 17% body fat instead of 14%.... that HELPS exactly no one. Guess what I realized it DOES do? It only serves to make others feel bad about themselves or question their own value or their own strength or their own dedications. Making others realize they dont have my level of discipline doesnt actually make me feel better about myself. I dont pat myself on the back because they struggle finding the time to get to the gym or they miss because LIFE is happening to them. I dont find any lesson in simply proving I can do it while you cannot. For me, helping someone is telling them its ok you fell off the wagon. It happens to all of us, but success is decided because you chose to get back on, while fully understanding you WILL fall off again at some point. For me, its about showing my REAL side. The side that succumbs to cupcakes, candy corn and chips & salsa. Its being able to admit that I may have made it out of bed to run this morning, but I didnt do it with my eye of the tiger music playing - no, I cussed the whole time and was so thankful someone was meeting there so I couldnt allow myself to hit snooze and stay in bed. Its about acknowledging that MOST of what you SEE in the health and fitness industry is very UNhealthy. Its about revealing how it absolutely has the power to strip away the good qualities in people like humility, grace, empathy and approachability and replace them with arrogance, narcissism and superiority complexes. For me, I had to recognize that the goal I started with was not actually what I was achieving. Sure, my ways spoke to a few people who pumped up my ego because they saw me as having achieved what they wanted, and they wanted to be like me. But what they didnt know was that when you looked past the bull shit, I didnt like what I saw in the mirror, and it had nothing to do with my physique. There is an ugliness in this industry that can seep out of the crevices in even the most beautiful of bodies and there is an ugliness that it brings out in other people, who will let you know how ugly they think your body is. People get into this industry thinking its a quest to find themselves but I sit on the other side knowing that most will actually lose themselves. Is there a sense of accomplishment in getting to the stage? Sure!!!! But the flip side is that most are also left with deeper feelings of inadequacy because that stage physique CANNOT be maintained and once they have allowed their self worth to get wrapped up in that, they are left with an unquenchable thirst to measure up again. They no longer feel good about WHO they are, as a person.... they define themselves and only hold themselves accountable for what they look like. People that truly want to help people in this industry have something more to offer than their own images every day. And if anyone thinks that those images are posted for the benefit of others... well, you are misled. Many have even started saying I post them as accountability and motivation for myself but what that translates to is that they post them for their deep need for affirmation, approval and ego stroking. They have put all their eggs in the proverbial basket of what they look like. Be damned how they (really) feel, what physical or long term repercussions are ahead and what havoc its caused in their personal relationships. BEAST MODE BABY!!! Thats all that matters. Well, and youre affirmation that Im a total badass..... but woohoo.... Im here to inspire people!!! Inspire them to do what exactly??? Let me clarify that I am not generalizing that EVERYONE in the industry fits this characterization, but I am saying MANY, as in the vast majority, do. There are some amazing people out there, who DO truly want to help people. Who ARE making a difference. Who allow people to see their weaknesses. Their realness. Their bad hair days. Their non-filtered photos. Those who make contributions of real value and HELP people get healthy. No, i didnt say help people compete. I said help people get healthy. Who offer workout tips for working moms. Or clean & easy recipes. Or quick tips on how to effectively hit the hard to build spots. Or simply words of encouragement that show its ok to be human. Its ok to fail. Its ok to not fit their particular model of perfection. I am not saying that in order for people to help that everything is agreeable flowers and rainbows. Helping is about telling the truth because it has value, not to be hurtful. Sugar coating isnt necessarily beneficial and I find value in honesty, even when its a hard conversation. Some others may not value that, and thats ok. We can agree to disagree. But part of my conviction in helping people is pointing this out: much of what so many look up to, what they aspire to achieve, that represents health and fitness in their eyes, is nothing more than a facade. One might ask why I am here if it appears I dislike so much about it. And that would be a fair question. I am here because I truly do want to help people. I AM grateful to the sport because it gave me a platform in which to come into contact with people that I otherwise would not have. It changed me in ways that were negative, but that also brought about serious introspection that allowed me to recognize that and alter the outcome. And part of my desire to help is what leads me to engage in discussions with other industry gals who I see falling into the same patterns that I see over and over. Some who get so caught up in the arrogance of being impressed with themselves and their following that they dont realize what an impact they (their words and actions) can have on people, in a very negative way. In their quest to inspire 1 or 2, they crush 20. And some, who just dont realize it or know better because they have never viewed it from the lens of a different perspective. Its a shady world out there people. And even many of those with a genuine looking agenda, like the Bobs and Jillians of the world, who cry with their contestants in front of the TV cameras..... they are not truly helping people. Because if they were, they wouldnt be able to justify the very UNHEALTHY things they do with those contestants, nor the very unrealistic expectations they set in the very people they claim to want to reach & help, by doing all those unhealthy things and not disclosing the real reasons that those people people reach such unrealistic weight loss goals in such short amounts of time. They are there to help themselves to a big fat paycheck and make money for the networks. THAT IS ALL. My goal in writing all this is not to elevate myself above others, or to fish for affirmation about what I do.... I just want to be friggin honest. To challenge others in the industry to really challenge their own motivation and then see if their words and actions match that motivation. To realize their platform can be used for good, for the positive. Or, they can easily be used for the negative. You can follow Carlene here...... https://facebook/MommysBody :-)
Posted on: Tue, 30 Sep 2014 22:08:35 +0000
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