Anyone that knows me knows Im not a cryer. At least I never was. Now I cant stop crying. Tonight after a rough emotional evening I sat in my bathroom and I cried and cried. Olivia comes to me (because of course there is no privacy in the bathroom for Mommas) and this precious child of mine grabbed tissue and started wiping my tears. When the tears fell more she got a towel and even at one point try to offer her shirt. She didnt know why I was crying she just said I was sad. She has no idea these tears are because my heart is breaking for her. When Im trying so hard to be strong for her she is the one who is there for me. She is my rock most of the time. People can pray. They can sympathize. They can even say they understand but not many do. Im scared out of my mind. Im struggling and I feel like Im failing at so many things and only my child is picking me up. Well tonight she reminded me of someone else that is and will always be there for me. She asked me You sad I told her yes and she said Tell him. I asked her tell who? She said Jesus, tell him. Pray! (As she points and looks up) Wow thank you Olivia. Even us mommas need reminding sometimes. When you feel alone look up, you still have Jesus. Now Im in bed cant sleep but so tired and I read that a boy Logan we have been following has passed away. Now I cry again!
Posted on: Sun, 07 Dec 2014 05:32:37 +0000
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