Anyone who reads my news feed on a regular basis will know that I am not one to post about personal matters. All too often I see people open windows to aspects of their lives to a grotesque degree and it makes me even less willing to share anything remotely personal about my life - silly anecdotes and photos of peanut butter confectionery excluded. Uncharacteristically, I am about to share something quite personal about myself, but rather than it being gratuitous and self-indulgent, I hope that it instead my experience might serve to help someone else. Now, I know the following may sound dramatic to some of you, but I also know that some of you will read the following and relate: Im sure some of you reading this have experienced that sadness so unbearable you think it could kill you. Or the feeling that your life is so broken that the only way to fix it is to start over again, or perhaps even worse during the darker hours… or that, simply, you are JUST NOT MEANT to be happy. Recently, Ive had my heart broken, and in copious amounts, have felt all of the above. The details are to be kept private as they should be, but at my darkest times I made the decision to keep it a secret just how unhappy I was, both on facebook and in fact anywhere past my front door. I like to think of myself as a positive and hopeful and happy individual, and even more so I want to infect people around me with those qualities, so I think I am now able to talk about what the past few months have been like for me, in hopes that my experience will help someone else, from the perspective of someone who is just starting to find her happiness again: Ive had two wonderful weekends of filming, honing my craft and meeting wonderful friends old and new. My Sainsburys family have been a great support, without even knowing it, just by being them and by making each day easier to get through. My American family took my breath away with their generous offers to open their homes to me should I be fortunate enough to make my trip to the States People I saw as acquaintances came out of the woodwork when I needed help the most and when the people I thought were good friends were nowhere to be seen. Most of all I must thank God for my family, who held me together when I was coming apart at the seams and continue to support me as I gradually begin to get back on my feet. We all need other people, in whatever capacity, we NEED other people, but if my experience has taught me anything it’s that the people who WANT to be in your life will make an EFFORT to be in your life, and that, no matter how painful it is, you need to let go of those who don’t. I believe that EVERYONE deserves to be loved by someone. EVERYONE is important and interesting to someone. EVERYONE is worthy of someone’s time and attention. EVERYONE deserves happiness. And I would be a hypocrite if I didnt believe that of myself. Cat -x-
Posted on: Mon, 09 Jun 2014 00:04:59 +0000
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