Apparently, were moving into Mercury Retrograde...Vito says its important to keep your heart open, and allow love to infect your life. I believe this too. All the energy building up to this tidal wave has been intense. I have been forced to revisit a time in my life that was very difficult on my heart. People say let the past go, but what if youve only buried it, ignored it and never dealt with it? How open can your heart be like that? I had never really thought about it before. I was just going through the motions, trying one thing after another, hoping to get lucky and find the truth. Thing is, I had to actively look inside for the correct answer. I had to do this even if it meant drudging up painful memories. And, there was a deep sadness hiding there in the depths. Here I am holding this layer of my emotional onion, looking back down a very long road and realizing I carried enormous guilt over something I had no control over. Being young and in love is a perfect storm of emotional hell. There are never the right answers or solutions to the hearts toughest problems. We are raised to to believe one way, but our instincts may lead us somewhere different. We make mistakes and hurt each other. How difficult it is to not become jaded or resentful of loves possibilities. Did I find it easier to carry the pain, the truth, the fear? Maybe. When you break, do you ever really pick up all the pieces again? I dont know. All I can say is, the pain remains until you face it and understand it. Sometimes that takes awhile. When the wound is exposed, and the truth has been told....you can heal.
Posted on: Mon, 09 Jun 2014 00:21:28 +0000
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