Appointment did not go well. Evidently the NP from the other day put a lot of garbage BS in my file which this doctor read and now they all think I am a drug-seeking, doctor-shopping addict. I tried very hard to make him understand that I have had chronic pain for 31 years and shingles pain for over a month but no matter what I said, he kept telling me that basically I could not have what I wanted and that I would not tell HIM what to prescribe and that HE would not facilitate my drug use. (yeah my drug use) I told him that if they reduced my pain meds (which he was telling me was necessary) that I would have to quit my job as an antique dealer and lay on the couch for the rest of my life but it made no difference. He would not hear what I was trying to explain. He actually wanted to REDUCE my pain meds by one pill a day, which he considered generous. When I told him I had an appt. with the rheumy NP coming up and would like to discuss all this with her before taking the 3 norco a day prescription from him....he said oh no, I dont play those games, its either 3 a day from me now or forget it. So I said forget it. He tried to tell me (just like the NP the other day said), you have to learn to live with pain. (they are all colluding with each other to say the same bullshit - united front against Julie, the Drug Addict)......I told him I have been learning to live with pain for 31 years and that I did not write my own prescriptions, that other DOCTORS have written my prescriptions for my pain meds for around 14 years. He said well thats them, not me, and I will not continue to make their mistakes by giving me enormous doses of pain meds. I nearly walked out. But I was just so stunned I could barely get out of my chair after he concluded the appointment. He did order some blood work but he also said he did not think we were going to click and maybe he should not be my doctor. I think its because I was making some valid points and he did not want to hear them. Because he read my file and obviously now he, and all who read it from now on will concur with each other and my pain medicine is now definitely either going to be reduced or cut off. And I am going to be unable to function as I have up til now. I literally feel stunned, as if someone used a tazer on me. I am walking around in a daze. Now, not only is my shingles pain extreme but soon my fibro and osteo will not be dealt with and I will be in even more pain than usual. I cannot fathom this. How can this be? My brain feels like cotton. I am going to lay down and stare at the wall for awhile I guess. I have never felt more alone and trapped in this prison of a painful body more than I do right now. I am going to be 59 years old next month, my fibro and osteo is getting worse and worse as I age, I have shingles, and now.........they are going to reduce or remove the only meds that keep my pain under control. I am in hell. Physical and emotional and mental hell on earth.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 21:46:10 +0000
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