Are our ego illusions an attempt to stave off guilt? Q #733: I often hear Ken recounting the mythological tale of sin, guilt and fear the ego tells the Son of God (decision maker). Ken describes the ego as if it were a separate entity. I realize he does this for pedagogical reasons. My understanding is that, once we choose the ego, however, we become the ego. Are we not, at that point, really telling the story to ourselves in an effort to 1)stave off the overwhelming guilt and to 2) preserve our chosen specialness? A: Yes, we not only become the ego, we become the “story.” However, rather than stave off the guilt, we actually seek it to use as fuel in defense of the belief in sin and to justify fear: “ The attraction of guilt is found in sin, not error. Sin will be repeated because of this attraction…As an essential part of what the ego thinks you are, you will always want it” (T.19.III.1:1,2,7). Thus, the story goes: “I do not remember the sin, but since I feel guilty I must have sinned, and am therefore deserving of punishment by an angry God. My fear, therefore, is clearly justified.” In the insanity of the egos “logic,” the guilt is then projected out in an attempt to be free of it, while at the same time it is preserved as the egos foundation. To make matters worse, beyond the attraction for guilt and seeming fear of punishment we find the fear of love: “The attraction of guilt produces fear of love, for love would never look on guilt at all…As love must look past fear, so must fear see love not. For love contains the end of guilt, as surely as fear depends on it…Fear looks on guilt with just the same devotion that love looks on itself” (T.19.IV.A.10:1,3,4,9). So, guilt is attractive and must be preserved, while love is fearful and must be defended against. What makes love fearful is the realization that in loves presence specialness disappears, and, as you point out, we are dedicated to its preservation. The goal of this psychotic arrangement is to make sin real, which keeps the illusory world of separation real in our experience. Thus the whole story, which has its origin in the choice for separation, is justified, defended, and cherished. The ego predicament is further compounded by the heavy layers of denial that camouflage this story. The best disguise/defense is the projection of these ego dynamics onto God, making Him the One Who hurls His wrathful condemnation upon us for cutting ourselves off from Him. We then seem to have no choice but to protect ourselves through our vast variety of special relationships, designed to project all responsibility for our dilemma out into the world of bodies. The “story” thus twists around itself in a seemingly inescapable maze. As bodies, we have no life apart form this dirge. Escape is possible only by undoing this thought of separation/ego, which is the goal of A Course in Miracles . It is accomplished by forgiving ourselves for our madness, beginning with seeing this “story” in operation in our lives. Every recognition of the minds choice for the egos insanity is an acknowledgement of the power of the mind to choose, and lessens belief in the body/ego identity, even if only slightly and for a brief moment. Willingness to be vigilant in recognizing the ego story without justifying, judging, or defending it is what will eventually lead us beyond it. It is, after all, a lie, and herein lies the hope Jesus offers us in the Course. Forgiveness unravels the story and leads us out of it: “ It looks on lies, but it is not deceived. It does not heed the self-accusing shrieks of sinners mad with guilt. It looks on them with quiet eyes, and merely says to them, “My brother, what you think is not the truth ” (W.p.I.134.7:3,4,5). Although it is not easy to see that we do believe we are “sinners mad with guilt,” shrieking accusations at ourselves, we must look at this madness as Jesus tells us in this passage. Only then will we learn to accept that this is not our truth, and the lie will be undone. facimoutreach.org/qa/questions/questions137.htm#Q733
Posted on: Fri, 17 Jan 2014 13:48:29 +0000
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