Are you the type of person who randomly and suddenly explodes in a fit of anger? Do you have a story that anger is a “bad” emotion and as a result, stifle any and all feelings of anger? Justin and I are completely in love with cultivating emotional intelligence- our ability to presence, feel (in our body), and effectively communicate about our emotions. Over the last 6 months it has become clear that Justin has a history of blocking and shutting down his feelings of anger. As a result, every 2-4 months he would explode, expressing and revealing ALL of the things he had been angry about. Over the course of his life, these “explosions” would only serve to reconfirm his belief that anger is bad and hurts those around him. Thus, the cycle of blocking and exploding would continue. We decided to consciously shift this pattern by making a powerful relationship agreement. Justin agreed to own, feel and then communicate his anger in the moment (not waiting hours, days, weeks or months). I agreed to support him by welcoming his authentic expression. The first 7 or 8 times Justin shared with me, “Grrr… I feel angry right now,” I totally felt scared. I noticed an impulse to “fix” what had happened to make his anger go away, so that ultimately I would not feel afraid. Then, over time I began to notice that each and every time Justin shared his authentic, in the moment anger, I felt closer to him. I felt the growing of a deep trust for him. Our new relationship agreement has supported a huge shift in our partnership. We feel so much more flow, connection and aliveness! Our Invitation: This week experiment with sharing your emotions real-time. Be particularly mindful of a particular emotion that you are afraid to express. For Justin, it is his anger because his story is it’s too intense for other people to handle. For you, it could be sadness, fear, or shame. Notice what happens when you share your emotions in small bits. Do you feel more energy flowing through your body? Do you feel closer to your partner? Our hope us that you will see that emotions are no big deal, and one of the most brilliant aspects of being a human being. We are on the journey with you, so feel free to share your discoveries on dailyrelationship, facebook/DailyRelationship, and youtube/DailyRelationship. - Juna & Justin
Posted on: Fri, 25 Jul 2014 13:27:25 +0000
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