As I have often pointed out, life is not only amazing at times, but also very much of a challenge. I believe that life is SUPPOSED to challenge us. The more things that life throws out at me, the more I have the chance to get better as a human being. Over the years, Ive learned that all things worth having are generally very hard to work for and to keep. So often, we think that once we have something that it will automatically be ours forever. Life has taught me that this not true. People come and go from our lives. Things come and go. Places are only stopping points along the way. For many years I have said that nowhere really feels like home and only recently I have come to know and understand that home is actually within me. My soul is my home; it is the place in which I truly exist. I dont mind telling everyone out there that my life isnt always easy, but it is still good. As long as I am being challenged, I know that I am alive. I appreciate learning and growing, as we all should. Sometimes, however, it is hard to see beyond the pain of present situations. Right now, my gf is in NJ and going through a ton of things with family. I want to be there for her more than anything in this world, but I cannot right now. Financially, it just isnt possible. I do have expectations that this situation is going to change soon but for now all I can really do is ride the waves as they come. I hate it. For the first time EVER, I have someone who makes me laugh. She treats me with respect and I honestly feel her love for me. I dont doubt it. Ive never really felt like this before. Ive always had doubt with other women...perhaps Id always been given reasons to doubt? Im really not sure. I just know that with this woman I feel 100% secure and loved. Im truly happy. While I face so many challenges in my life, I keep telling myself that anything worth having is worth the struggle and the hard work. I am often asked how it is that I remain so calm. Well the answer is very simple - if I didnt remain calm I would go crazy, so I am making the conscious decision to keep my wits about me. Like the willow tree, I am bending and twisting, but never allowing myself to be torn from my roots. Im stronger than I look and Im deeper than you think. :) At this time of the year, take the time to look back over your life and think about the things worth fighting for. Think about the things that you could let go of. Know which is which and trust your gut. Always put yourself first. Sounds selfish but it is truly necessary. What is best for you is going to be the best choice. Never put someone elses happiness before your own. Eventually you will find someone who respects you for that. :)
Posted on: Sun, 30 Nov 2014 04:23:53 +0000
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