As I look back on posts from this time in my life last year, I realize I was living a fairy tale. I had everything I wanted, but with the wrong person. I was, for all intents and purposes, trapped by my desire to find love. Now that Im actually moving forward with someone better, I realize that I no longer care what people think. This time last year, I was hiding a relationship with someone everyone hated and thought was bad for me. Turns out they were right. I stayed because I thought it was what I wanted. Maybe it was, at the time. I wanted someone to tell me they loved me every day, someone who told me I was the most beautiful and important thing in their life. Even if he told me these things as lies, it still was what I wanted. I have that now, but its a totally different scene, in a whole new play. The old play was fraught with distrust and lies and deciet. This new play is honest, its a wonderous and joyous thing. It has flowers instead of fire, it has healing instead of pain. It smells like a musky cologne instead of some other girls perfume that he desperately tried to hide. If I could relive my life up to this point from today last year, Id live it exactly the same. Because he was a lesson I needed to learn to know what I have now.
Posted on: Mon, 19 Jan 2015 06:53:03 +0000
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