As I write today, my pen writes down the story of my charred soul. The words that fail to come from my mouth, are as difficult to be written down. The words oozing out today, straight from my heart, will they make a difference, I wonder. But this agony inside my heart is undying. It kills me every second, I fail to find solace in anything, my heart is filled with so much of anger and grief that at times I just want to step out and scream loud. But it doesnt end here. My mind is filled with all sort of suicidal tendencies. Will jumping off the terrace will end my life, or should I pop a dozen sleeping pills, such thoughts subside and drain all the energy left inside my body. Will I ever be the same girl again? Will I ever smile whole-heartedly again? Why did this happen to me? They say wearing short clothes provoke men to come near you. But I was wearing my full length frock that fateful day, my hair were tied in a neat bun and my face was devoid of any make-up. Then why did that devil come near me? What attracted him to keep his hands on my body and shred my soul apart? I remember his lips curved in a heinous smile, telling me to keep my mouth shut or hell hurt me more. I remember him dragging me to a dark house, I remember his hands all over me, my mouth stuffed with a cotton cloth to stiffle my screams. I know he failed to heart my heart scream, but they were so loud and prominent, but the continuous flow if tears from my eyes, he ignored that too. They say, he raped my body. But no, I dont agree. He raped my soul too that day. He went away, left me in a pool of blood, hardly alive. Yes I am breathing today, but I just feel like a dead body with a beating heart. I have heard hushed voices of Maa baba, they worry about me. They are concerned if Ill ever get married. One day, baba said to Maa, that I have ruined their lives as well as my siblings. They feel ashamed of me, but what did I do? What was my fault in all this? *To be continued* #Saloni..
Posted on: Mon, 26 Jan 2015 07:21:20 +0000
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