As Im checking Austin and Lana in at the dentist, the receptionist asks their ages. I tell her 3 and 2. Aviah starts fussing in her carrier on the floor and she says, Oh! Theres another one?? How old? I reply, in my proud mama voice, 2 months! Her response caught me off guard. Though well intentioned, what she said took me aback. Oh my goodness, I feel so sorry for you! She said with pity on her face. Hm. Where to begin. Thank you, kind woman, for your empathy, though misplaced. It makes me sad that I get this reaction sometimes in our society. I have 3 stair-step children, and there were no mistakes involved. There were no accidents involved. This was not a series of unfortunate events. My encounter with this lady was not a random isolated one, but a common occurrence and the reason why sometimes I prefer to isolate myself from those who think Ive either been short-changed in life or Im paying for bad decisions or bad planning. Now I have made a mistake. Ive made a mistake by allowing what others might think of me to curve my conversation with others and control my responses. Ive even taken to lying, assuring them that one of my kids was a nice surprise so that theyd understand and not judge me. But no. We wanted 3 kids and we wanted them close together. And we are HAPPY about having 3 very loud, tiring, rambunctious, and AMAZING kids. Tons of people out there are understanding and, even more so, happy about the family that we have. I know that, and thank you! But Im tired of the comments and looks I get in stores... Like the lady that commented on Lanas crying at Home Depot yesterday, telling her husband how bored she must be while we were dealing with my other 2. So anyways, as I was leaving, this lady says, Aw, you POOR mom! No, actually, Im a RICH mom! Rich in messes and kisses. Rich in screaming and laughing. Rich in exhaustion and excitement. And more than anything, rich in love. So in conclusion, if you see a mom out and about with a few young kids, especially fussy ones, dont show her pity. Those children are some of the biggest blessings in her life, and in our culture, we need to acknowledge that more. Children are not a chain. The only chain is a wrong mindset.
Posted on: Fri, 06 Jun 2014 23:32:20 +0000
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